Meeting at the Mirabeau

Jon and Mary arranged for their parents to meet for the first time. Jon and Mary are living together now in Boston. They've been together for a couple of years. Living together is the next step and they're doing fine. I am Mary's father. My wife Lynn and I came up from Charlotte to meet Jon's parents who arrived from Cape Cod. Lynn and I come from Rochester before relocating to North Carolna. Jon's parents came from Connecticut before relocating to Cape Cod.

I was a bit anxious before the meeting when I imagined the many ways that such a meeting should go right or wrong.. I have a tendency to open my heart prematurely and insert my foot into it. I hoped to avoid this predeliction in our meeting.

Parents love their children and have confidence in them. Mary introduced us to Jon about a year ago. I immediately took a liking to Jon. He seemed like a perfect match for Mary. I didn't want to screw this up.

We met at the Mirabeau Spa. I arrived with Jon and Mary. Lynn came up from Duxbury with our oldest daughter Erin. The day before, we had celebrated Thanksgiving with Erin, her husband Scott and five of our grandchildren. All of us arrived at exactly 2 o clock which was the arranged time and kind of a miracle considering the kind of traffic snage that all three cars encountered on their way to the meeting. Our car had left 90 minutes early to get arrive on time.

On the way into the spa, we met Jon's parents Marty and Diane. We shook hands and went to our table.

I come from a red state which is turning purple. Around here. you've got to be careful with conversation as you never know who is gonna be an anti-vaxer/Trumpster. Jon had told me in advance only a few things about his parents. Marty was an insurance executive who played golf and loved Tom Petty. Dianne was a retired teacher who HATED Trump. Before beginning her career as a teacher, Dianne had a previous career as a nurse. Obviously she was a people person.

Jon spoke of his parents with love and respect.

Earlier, when I anticipated the meeting I thought that I might as well break the ice with three simple statements: 1) I hated Trump 2) I've seen Tom Petty live three times and 3) I loved their son.

As we gathered at the table, I began to relax. I Immediately took a liking to both Marty and Dianne. The ice had broken quicker than I had imagined. The water beneath the absebt ice was perfect temperature for swimming. We engaged in some not quite small talk but still kinda cautious.

I felt safe in their company so after about fifteen minutes of listening, I decided to go for it. Marty was chatting with Lynn. I was chatting with Diane. I trusted her.

I said, "ya know Diane when I was thinking about this meeting, I figured out what I wanted to say and ya know what, I'm gonna say it."

Diane looked straight into my eyes and I into hers.

"I want you to know these two things. I hate Trump and I love your son."

Diane's eyes filled with tears.

She responded with, "I'm so happy to hear that because we love Mary."

I could feel my eyes misting up.

Diane went on to enumerate all of the things that she loves about Mary and I responded with all of the things I love about John. She congratulated Lynn and me for being great parents for having raised such a great daughter and I responded in kind.

It's pretty cool when you're meeting a stranger and within a few minutes both of you have tears of pride and relief in their eyes.

The conversation went to a whole new level. Everybody was joining in with nobody dominating, everybody listening and smiling. If this were a basketabl game, we were all of us shooting, passing, rebounding and scoring.

Marty and I bonded over golf and Tom Petty.

We talked politics and agreed on everything. Our guards were joyfully down.

I wasn't completely surprised.

This is exactly how such a meeting should go.

Our kids loved each other. We loved our kids. Why would I expect to not like the parents of the man that my daughter loved? Why would they expect to not like the parents of the woman that their son loved? They reminded me of John as I'm sure Lynn and I reminded them of Mary.

We continued our sharing for another hour while we ate our food.

It could not have gone better.

As we parted, I shook hands with Marty after he hugged Lynn. Then I hugged Diane after Lynn and Dianne shared a hug.

When I shook Marty's hand I said "I've got a feeling we're gonna see each other again"

Marty agreed with a smile.

Then suddenly and too soon, twikight signalled the beginning of darkness.

As if on cue, all of us were surrounded by a white light, a fanfare of John Williams trumpets and an angelic chorus filled the air.

Yeah, this is how things are supposed to go but this is real life...not a movie.

The white light, the fanfare and the chorus didn't happen.

Everyting else did.