Okay; I'll help myself

Thank God for all the self help books we read. Who knows where we'd be if we hadn't helped ourselves to those servings. We're a kinder, more compassionate , ecology conscious species than we would have been if it weren't for the gurus we met along the way, right up until The Art of the Deal. 

Where would we be if our parents hadn't devoured Dr. Spock (and we hadn't paid attention to Mr. Spock). Then we went right into Norman Vincent Peale  and The Power of Positive Thinking which taught us all that things were not as bad as we thought they were and if we think they are as bad as we perceive them to be, we're just making them worse with our negative thinking.

Then along came Alan Watts with   This Is It which convinced us that the only thing that existed was the present and we should forget about the past and the future because they don't exist. Timothy Leary told us to tune in, turn on, and drop out.

I'm sure I would have gone crazy during my working years if it weren't for my monthly subscription to Psychology Today which explained all the reasons that I was crazy and then told me how to stop being crazy even though in my heart I didn't believe I was crazy in the first place.

Psycho-cybernetics taught us how to take our mind out for walks and reprogram our default systems and when the worry phone is ringing, don't pick it up.

Napoleon Hill taught us how to Think and Grow Rich which enabled me to amass the great fortune that  we Boomers have accumulated simply by thinking about it.

Desmond Morris reminded this that we were all Naked Apes disguising ourselves with clothing and we shouldn't forget it, matter of fact, we should pound our naked chests and roar to signify the power of our evolution and not be surprised when we started craving bananas and masturbation.

Before Tom Cruise came around and started warning everybody about psychiatrists and Steven Hovey reveled the secrets of how effective people stay effective and warned us about all the mistakes we were making that cause us to stumble through our Passages and how to correct them before we became indolent, confused, ineffective dawdlers; we fell under the influence of my personal favorite. I'm Okay....You're Okay by Thomas Harris.

Ever since 1967 I've been analyzing all my transactions through the eyes of my inner parent, adult and child...switching from one to the other according to the situation and the analysis that goes along with the complementary or uncomplimentary crisscrossing of every thing I say and everything everyone says to me and why we end up hating each other because we come from the wrong perspective at the right time or the right perspective at the wrong time depending upon the state of mind of whomever I am misunderstanding at the present moment which according to Watts and Baba Ram Dass Be Here Now is the only moment that exists anyway. Where would we be if we weren't here and when would we be if not now. Perhaps we'd be there rather than here which means we wouldn't be in Philadelphia.

 Maybe you remember the basis for I'm Okay...You're Okay. If not let's take this moment (which is all there is) to refresh our memory which may or may not exist depending upon your favorite philosopher or the drugs we are on if we're not Tom Cruise or committing ourselves to a million years on a boat.

We live in an interpersonal realm filled to the brim with verabl transactions (let's not even deal with Body Language for now which might contradict everything that came before depending upon the way that we preen or cross our legs) The four transactional platforms are these;

a) I'm okay...you're okay

b) I'm okay...you're not okay

c) You're okay....I'm not okay

d) You're not okay.....I'm not okay

Then, just for shits and giggles there are 8 addditional branches

a) I'm okay...you're okay and we're okay (Ken and Barbie)

b) I'm okay...you're okay but we're not okay (let's be friends)

b) I'm okay....you're not okay but we're okay (It's okay baby don't worry)

d) I'm okay....you're not okay but we're not okay (you're an asshole and frankly my dear I don't give a damn)

e) I'm not okay....you're okay but we're okay (Help me Rhonda)

f) I'm not okay....your okay but we're not okay (you make me feel like an asshole because I really am one)

g)I'm not okay and you're not okay but we're okay (we're nuts but we're cool)

h) I'm not okay and you're not okay and we're not okay (bobbaloo....Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde)

Fortunately (Unfortunately) we decide at an early age whether we are ok or not and cling to that decision through most of our lives. If we decide that we're not ok as a child, it takes an ongoing struggle to convince ourselves that our original decision about ourselves was wrong. 

Examples of this struggle abound in literature. Check out Great Expectations which will scare the Dickens into you if analyze it transactionally.

I came from a loving and supportive family which assured me that I was ok. It took a concerted effort by some of my bad influences and most mendacious, manipulative "friends" to convince me at various times that I wasn't ok.

Fortunately (unfortunately), I regained possession of my original okayness which enabled me to begin my career as a writer with the conviction that I had something ok to communicate which I continue to do with varying degrees of success along with frequent misunderstandings on the part of others.

Hey, I'm just a soul whose intentions are good etc.

Unfortunately (fortunately), I've used an on going unconscious effort to pass every thing I've said or heard, every action I've seen and everybody I've known through the lens of transactional analysis which has caused long, dithering periods of paralysis through analysis.

My basic platform remains I'm ok and you're ok which has regularly made me prey to the manipulative and narcissistic amongst us. I tend to trust and keep my chin up even when I'm leading with it. I'm not alone in this vulnerability, ya know what I mean?

Unfortunately, Donald Trump is still out there. Donald grabbed his sense of okayness at an early age which developed into a certitude protecting him from fear and self-doubt while replacing those "weaknesses" with anger which he spews upon those who tresspass against his infatuation with himself, labeling them not okay; either moronic or corrupt.

On the other hand, the Dude is out there cautioning us in I'm a Lebowski...You[re a Lebowski to back off on our analyses, step back from the self help table and abide.

Abide