The Opposite of a Miracle

Wrong.

I was under the impression that all the packages in Mildred's barn were up for grabs.

Wrong.

As soon as I discovered the leopard skin pill box hat, I called for Ko-Ko. "Ko-Ko look what I found in the first box that I opened. I've been looking for a leopard skin pill box hat for years" I knew that Ko-Ko was a religious woman. "Ko-Ko, I'd call finding this hat under these circumstances nothing short of a miracle"

Ko-Ko looked at me with a degree of sadness.

"Thornton, that box had been previously opened. I don't know why it got put back with the unopened boxes. Out of all the boxes in this section of the barn, opened or unopened, this is the only box that has been not only claimed but reserved for another person. This box should not have been in this area. This is the only item that can not be claimed by you because it is the only item that has already been claimed by somebody else even before Mildred snapped. That somebody, if I remember, is named Julia. She's a cute little thing, not even five foot tall. She's involved in local theater. She was dressed like Scarlett O'Hara. She wanted the hat for wardrobe purposes in case they end up doing a production about the early sixties."

Dayum

What's the opposite of a miracle?

Maybe I had chosen the wrong career after all. Maybe if I hadn't been a teacher or had retired a little later or earlier, the hat wouldn't have been claimed by Giselle. Or if I had gone to Wahlgreen's instead of Rite-Aid when I was searching for an ov glove. Or if I hadn't traded in the Caddy for the Sonata. Two weeks later, I traded the Sonata for a Santa Fe.

And I bought anoher Cadillac. Take that Julia.