A Smart Feller

Maybe it was the fall from the bunk.

Maybe it was the radioactive Nevada weather.

Maybe it was the fact that Merle, unlike ShelleyandKelly or RonaldandDonald, didn't have anybody to talk to in the womb or if he did he was still suffering from pre-natal grief.

Whatever the reason, Merle was about to turn five and was yet to speak his first word. His parents were beside themselves with concern/guilt especially when Grandma Pearl and Grandpa Merle came for their annual visit.

ShelleyandKelley and Pearl prepared a feast, while Ronaldanddonald and Grandpa Merle sat on the porch and smoked. Little Merle was silently running between groups until they all gathered at the table.

They passed around the mashed potatoes while Grandpa Merle cut the ham. Meanwhile someone else cut the cheese. Everybody ignored the  eruptive disruption except for little Merle who spoke his first words. "who farted?"

What followed was an unusual silence, part joy....part astonishment....part guilt....part relief. After what seemed like minutes, the silence was not broken but the answer was supplied. Grandma Pearl sheepishly raised her hand.

That's when the laughter began and it lasted until Ronaldanddonald asked the next question. "What the hell took you so long, son.?"

Little Earl answered. " I never smelled a fart before."

More silence followed by more laughter until Grandpa Merle summed the whole thing up as Grandpas tend to do, "There are two kinds of men; smart fellers and fart smellers. I guess we just learned which kind little Merle is gonna be."

Everybody agreed.

Many years later, after secretly putting a pickle in his ice cream, Merle Seton met Jem Masters who was a smart feller in search of a fart smeller.