Taft in the Web (fireflies 5)

Before we find out what the spider's gonna do, let me tell you what the non-spiders already did or didn't do. In other words, a little back story about yours truly.

I knew Lee Oswald before he became Lee HARVEY Oswald.

I was born  in Ohio.

I know the cop who took a shot at the Loveland Creature.

I don't pay income tax.

Let's start with Ohio.

Ohio is a lot weirder than most people realize. Most people picture Ohio as the big lummox in their high school who played a lot of sports and finished in the middle of the class who hung around with a bunch of other lummoxes who played a lot of sports and who finished in the middle of their class.

There's a lot of room in the middle.

Wherever there's room, there's weirdness and it's usually hiding in plain sight.

Like Ohio.

Some lummoxes have four nipples and webbed toes.

Like Ohio.

The only president of the United States who was not a citizen of the United States was from Ohio.

I'm talking about William Taft. Big Fat Bill was born in 1857 in Ohio.

Ohio had met all of the requirements for statehood by 1803 but Congress didn't approve Ohio's application at that time. Ohio wasn't offically admitted into the Union until 1953 when Congress made its admission retroactive.

So, if Ohio wasn't a state when Taft was born in it, then how does Taft become a citizen? And if Taft wasn't a citizen then everyhing that he did in his Presidency would be null and void. 

Null and void are three words that pretty much describe Bill's presidency anyways except for one little blip on the radar screen which showed up even before radar was invented. 

That little blip is Federal Income Tax.

Income tax was initiated during the presidency of a guy who was never really president because he wasn't a citizen because he was born in Ohio which wasn't really a state.

Income tax is null and void.

Income tax is unconstitutional.

I'm a strict constitutionalist.

I don't pay income tax.

Neither do spiders or caterpillars.