Unpacking Comey and Trump
By ice rivers
Let me unpack some of this Comey Trump Sessions clear the room business.
In my family, clear the room has a more pungent meaning.
Here's an example.
When my cousin Mary Helen was having her reception, many of the male folk gathered at the bar.
We were all into our second or third drafts when a silent yet disturbance occurred.
A tremendous odor filled the room.
My Uncle Tommy squinted his eyes, held his nose and pointed at my Cousin Davey. If everybody else was on draft 2 Davey was on Draft four as well as joint three.
Mellow as you can get.
The odor came in layers.
Tommy, disgusted, opened the door to let some air into the place.
The odor intensified.
Tommy said "Call the owner..must be a sewage back up in the plumbing".
Everybody was heading for the door, gagging and laughing.
The owner came out with a handkerchief over his nose where he was immediately confronted by a red faced Uncle Tom.
The owner explained that there was nothing wrong with the pipes at least the non-human pipes.
By this time, the room was cleared.
Tommy looked suspiciously at Davey. The owner looked at Davey. Davey didn't notice and headed for his car and yet another joint. Tommy muttered " Appaling and detestable" and drew everybody's attention to both Davey and the owner.
Davey didn't care.
The owner, embarrassed, went back into the establishment, shut the door and said "I'll open the door when the odor diminishes".
The air cleared and soon we were back at the bar pounding drafts. Tommy, kept the heat on Davey with sidelong glances and nose grabs. He got away with it until a few months later when he came clean. Flatulence and cover up had long been one of Tom's great hobbies.
The incident became more fabulous as time went on. The dead pool caught up with my relatives over the next couple years. You could say that the room clearing was the beginning of the end because there would never again be a gathering of this kin.
There would be many misinterpretations of the room clearing until Uncle Tom voluntarily and with pride confessed to the eruption.
This is what comes to my mind when I hear the term 'clear the room'.
Let's fast forward thirty years.
Donald Trump is president and he is having a meeting in the oval office with Comey, Sessions and Rosenstein.
Sessions and Rosenstein had met with Trump in the office several times and were well aware of the sensual dangers.
Since his election, the already profoundly flatulent Trump had been consuming a steady diet of cheeseburgers and fries. He particularly preferred Big Macs and on this day had already consumed three.
Trump decided that he wanted to test Comey's loyalty.
He let go of one of his infamous "silent but deadly" gas explosions. Upon the first whiff, Sessions and the other guy realized that this was the president's non-verbal signal to clear the room which they did.
Now the loyalty test had begun.
Could Comey withstand the noxious signal without gagging, vomiting, accusing or complaining.
In the hallway, enough of the silent but deadly weapon had made it's way under the closed door and into the nostrils of Sessions who had been on his knees eaves dropping. Sessions backed away from the door and muttered " Appaling and detestable" as he and Rosencrantz headed for safety.
Comey hung in therte as long as he could and tried to answer Trump's questions. Trump could see that Comey was "distracted" and by the end of the meeting, he realized he couldn't trust Comey.
He got in touch with Sessions and Rosencrantz.
He ordered them to recommend the firing of Comey under threat of another sensational encounter in the office.
The rest is ongoing history.
Comey for his part was relieved.