Untie the Die

Like almost everybody, I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out the meaning of "you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes, you might find that you get what you need." It sounds so simple but the problem comes in the distinction between "want" and "need".

Let's qualify "want" in terms of "need".

Want is an unusually acute and individual  need.

In the realm of tolerance, inclusion and exclusion; want is an excess in one component accompanied by a deficit in another causing an imbalance and a departure from the "norm".

Unusual Need for Toleration, Inclusion or Exclusion.

UNTIE 

Let's look at some of the untied inbalances.

An unusual need for Tolerance answers the question of "should I stay or should I go" with "I'm gonna stay." In terms of relationships this inbalance tends to make us hold on to relationships that are simply not good for us; the tendency to forgive and enable our abusers. 

Q. "Why don't you leave that son of a bitch. He's cheating on you and beating on you?"

A. " You don't understand him. He's really a nice guy. He's trying to change. He's reassured me that it won't happen again. He cries like a baby when he hurts me."

An unusual need for inclusion answers the question of "should I have another beer or have I had enough?" with "Ah shit. Give me another."

Q. "Where are you? When are you coming home?"

A. "I'm on my way home. I'm with Kaz. We're having a beer after work. He's buying."

An unusual need for exclusion answers the question "should I get rid of this thing or should I keep it?' with the answer "I'm getting rid of this piece of shit."

Q. "Why are you breaking up with me?"

A. "it's not you, it's me."

Too much inclusion leads to shopping sprees and living beyond our means as well as bringing dangerous people into our lives. Shopping sprees witn an imbalance in toleration leads to hoarding.

Haylen suspected that Hugh was a hoarder based on his collections of albums, magazines, tee shirts and baseball cards.

Hugh suspected Haylen of ultra exclusion. She was a threat to everything that he held dear.

"Those albums of yours are just taking up space. We don't even have a record player. Why don't you take them down to the House of Guitars and see what they'll give you for them?", asked Haylen over and over and over and over again.

A broken record

"They're worth money. Vinyl is coming back. They're an investment. I'm gonna get a new needle" Hugh said over and over and over again until finally he took all of his albums and traded them in and got ripped off big time in the exchange.

But happy wife, happy life.

A few weeks later, Haylen started in on the magazines.

An imbalance of inclusion may also lead to promiscuity, a suspicion of promiscuity leads to control, suspicion and specualation.

Speculatoion can lead to escalation which can lead to false accusation which can lead to offensive behavior which can lead to defensive behavior.

Q. "Why are you being so defensive?"

A. "Because you're being offensive."

An excess of exclusion can also lead to a deficit in toleration. which answers the question "are you a racist?" with the answer "I am NOT a fookin racist."

Q. "Why are you so upset about Black Lives Matter?"

A. " Hey Everybody's life matters. I'm sick and tired of them playing the race card."

At the beginning of this rant, I needed to explain wants in terms of needs and provide a few illustrations.

I needed to introduce UNTIE as the antonym of tie.

I could go on and on and on but I want to stay within your boundary of toleration without becomin a blabbermouth or know it all.

I don't know if any of you needed this explanation but I wanted to bring it to your attention in response to a fleeting inspiration.

An UNTIE...like a TIE requires taking a chance...rolling the dice.

I even checked on the singular of the word "dice".

It is what I thought it was.

The singular of dice is die

When we ntie the mortal coil

which for us is the end of the game

When we can no longer tolerate

We decide to exclude and separate.