To We the Estranged Fathers.
By ice rivers
It feels like we're all alone, doesn't it? Even more so on Father's Day when we read of all the wonderful things that fathers have done and how they are cherished by their offspring.
We're not alone. 17% of all fathers experience estrangement. That's one out of every six.
Don't expect any Father's Day Cards. Remember that the love we gave still lingers in the hearts and souls of our children.We gave them our best under the circumstances. We tried god damned it, we tried.
None of us dreamed that we were gonna be the "failures" that we are perceived to be by many including many "great" fathers who gave less and took more.
Many of us are Field of dreamers guys which in the end is all abouut estarngement and re-connection. Some of us indeed will get the opportunity to play another game of catch but don't count on it.
For my part, I chose at least one Godfather who has done his best to provide some connection with the past, to attend to the abyss of absence as best he can and for that and for him I am grateful.
Shakespeare said there is no serpent's tooth sharper than a thankless child. I don't blame the children. They zigged and we zagged. I never ever considered them thankless when we were together but circumstances provided the fangs and the poison and the pain. I wasn't expecting thanks in the first place. I was a proud father who became alienated from the affection of his children in the midst of the naturalism that was the 1980's when marriage was under fire and false memory ran rampant.
Fortunately for me, I have become a step-father and have done my best to protect and provide for my step daughters. Lynn and I have our own daughter Mary, who is the combination of all the good parts of us and is the rerason why we came together in the first place. She has soothed my soul and eased my pain.
I know that many of us don't get a second chance but feel confident that most of us who have had that chance have made the most of it.
If you have, be grateful. If you haven't, you're not alone. You are loved more than you know even as a portion of the inserted poison lingers. Somehow, we survived.
As for the children, now adults; love them all. Root for them. Don't get in their way. We don't own them. We have loved and lost, perhaps, but we remain fathers despite our tears.
We're gonna go the distance and we need to keep our heads held high.
God bless us.