Explorations in the Second Person

By Kilb50

Fri, 26 May 2023
  • 58 reads
2 comments
 

And when I wrote you, I loved you -

worshipped you as an idea for the age.

Then we quarrelled; I took my cue,

unscrambled my words, tore page after page.

Your scent lingered in each written line

your beauty remained like a long-hidden ghost.

You whispered: ‘Sweet dear, Please be mine!’

I hated you; cried for you; loved you the most.

Like a shaman I breathed you back into life

alone in my wonder, wrote you some more;

I led you to a garden, announced you as my wife

scattered sweet orchid leaves onto an alabaster floor.

Tell me: Does true love exist in language alone ?

I sense you in colour, write your form in monochrome.

 

Certificate 15
Poem

Comments

Submitted by Ed Crane on

why you chose the title since it's written in first person.

If it were second person you'd need to change "I" for "you" and "you" for "her" plus a few bits to make it run 

eg 

And when you wrote her, you loved her -

worshipped her as an idea for the age.

Then the quarrel; you took your cue,

unscrambled your words, tore page after page.

Her scent lingered in each written line

(I seems to have more depth if written in second person).

 

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

Thanks for reading & your comment Ed. The poem (a sonnet) is written from the authorial perspective - the "I" - as they engage with their creation - the "you". A love hate relationship plays out, each character - author & fictional creation - competing for dominance. At the end of the poem the author reflects on true love & whether it can be found in language alone. All the best to you!