The Old House Is Falling Down
The old house in Westminster is falling down.
Aunt Theresa has run away.
She left the taps running. Perhaps we’ll drown.
The removal van is stuck in traffic on the other side of town.
The water levels are rising day by day.
Uncle Boris said he'll save us but he's a clown.
Go upstairs and dress for dinner – put on your evening gown.
(The gossip and tittle-tattle, you know what folk will say).
Shall I tell you that I love you before we drown ?
There are crocodiles in the tea rooms and rodents in the lounge.
How I used to love the chamber in September and May.
Look out! The old house is falling down.
I’ve found a rubber dinghy and thrown away the crown.
We could hoist a flag, have a holiday -
enjoy ourselves (before we drown).
Will you tell me that you love me ? (The water’s turning brown).
Let’s stand on the roof and pray
Eat balm cakes and drink beer all day while we watch the old house fall down.
The taps are still running. I think we’ll drown.