I turned 58 years old this morning. I took a vacation day from work. Today is also Abe Lincoln's birthday. I've always liked being born on the same day as one of our greatest presidents and always wished that I could grow to be a man somewhat like him.
I woke up depressed this morning, thinking of those who never had a chance to have a birthday and those whose minds have gone away, long before they die. I don't scream at God anymore for answers to my questions about the extreme evils in the world. I finally quit bitching at him and decided to simply be kind and go forward.
Many times I have written my way out of depression. Pot is illegal in Ohio so I can't smoke my way out. I laugh when I hear immigrants shouting,"We come to America for freedom!" They just don't understand that the last time real freedom existed here, there were millions of buffalo, men went hunting and fishing while the women did everything else.
Actually, it hasn't changed all that much for women but I would much rather be chasing down a buffalo on a fine horse than fixing furnaces and toilets. My imagination takes me back and I see myself on a black horse, proud, holding my spear and shouting,"May the hunt be glorious!" Then my wife commands,"You are not leaving until that hole in our teepee is patched!"
There are many things to be depressed about and many things to be happy about. My beautiful wife, wonderful children and grandchildren, family and friends come straight to mind on the happy side.
My dad use to say,"Son, sometimes you have to pull your pants up and be a man." Back then, in the 70s, I couldn't even get my thumbs in the sides of my tight pants to pull them up.
I'm starting to feel better after writing. I made it to 58! My pants are looser and so is my mind. Maybe when we get older, it gets a little easier to,"Be a man." Maybe we just get use to the use?
My sweet wife just gave me a kiss and wished
me,"Happy Birthday." She always lifts my spirits with her smile, holding my heart up.
Anyhow, I think I am finally ready to wear suspenders.....to hold up my pants.