C- YES DEAR

YES DEAR

By Thomas Hinder

'Sam Dolan, will you put that newspaper down and listen to what I am
saying to you?'

'Yes dear. I'll be with you in a minute.'

'No Sam, not in a minute, now! Put that paper down, and you listen to
me. That garden fence, I want it finished, today. You promised me you'd
have it done by the weekend.'

'But there's a football match I want to watch on the telly.'

'No Sam. You fix that fence today or there'll be trouble.'

'But why this weekend? You know it's the cup final.'

'Look; you can watch the highlights tonight; I slave all the week,
cooking and cleaning, and looking after the children, it's not fun you
know. And it's not easy keeping an eye on young Tommy; he's always over
Mrs Tomlinson's because you haven't fixed that fence. I have to watch
him constantly.'

'But I thought I'd ask Mike and Jean over. They like football, and we
haven't seen them for ages.'

'No Sam! I know you're the breadwinner, but it's not exhausting work
sat behind that desk all day. And I should know, I've done that job
myself, remember?'

'Yes dear.'

'Right then, get up off your backside and fix that fence.'

Sam got up, and put the newspaper on the table. 'I'll do it tomorrow.
Promise. Shall I give Mike and Jean a ring?'

'Nice try Sam, but I've already told you, I want that fence fixed.
Today!'

'Oh very well then. By the way, are you going past the D.I.Y shop? I
want some more nails, six inch ones.'

'Yes, I'm going shopping anyway, but you'll have to look after the
kids.'

Sam picked up the paper again, and went to sit down.

'Oh no you don't. I'll put the baby in her pram and you can keep an eye
on Tommy. I'll leave them in the garden. You can go on digging the next
post hole.'

'But Tommy'll be all over the place, I'll wait till you get
back.'

'Look Sam, if I can look after them during the week and cope with the
house work, and the cooking, then surely you can look after them and
carry on with your work. I'll only be gone an hour anyway. And I've
even cleaned your spade off for you. It's in the garage. Now get out
there and get on with it.'

'Oh, alright then.' Sam put the paper down and went out to the garage
to get the spade. The position of the next post-hole had already been
marked out ready for digging.

Crunch, the spade cut into the earth again. A small pile of earth had
already accumulated when a voice from the house called out. 'I'll leave
the pram here in the shade. Jessica's asleep so you wont have to worry
about her. And Tommy will be all right. Now Tommy, you be a good boy
now, and no going over Mrs Tomlinson's. I'm off now then. Bye
Sam.'

'Mmm, thank goodness,' Sam muttered.

'What's that you're saying?'

'I said, bye darling,' Sam called out.

'Oh, bye then.'

Tommy found a worm and held it up. 'Look, worm.'

'Put it down, this minute,' Sam said.

'No I wont.'

'You'll do as you're told.' Sam was angry. 'Give it here, give it to
me.'

'No.'

Putting the spade down, Sam took the worm from Tommy and threw it away,
and Tommy began to cry.

'Shut up Tommy, don't be such a baby, it's only a worm.'

'Want worm, want worm,' Tommy screamed, running through into Mrs
Tomlinson's garden, and trampling down her flowerbeds.

Sam ran after him knocking over and breaking a large earthenware pot
belonging to Mrs Tomlinson. Earth spilt over her patio as Tommy reached
the fishpond. The baby woke and started to cry.

'Now look what you've done,' screamed Sam, grabbing Tommy by the arm
just as he was about to fall into the pond. 'I want worm,' Tommy
screamed; pulling away as hard as he could, but Sam dragged him
screaming, back into their own garden.

The phone rang, just as Sam reached the pram. 'Oh bother; it'll have to
wait. Now, go to sleep Jessica, you're supposed to be asleep'' the
phone stopped ringing.

'Baby want bottle,' said Tommy who had quietened down a little, but was
still trying to pull himself away from Sam. Sam looked under the baby's
covers, but the bottle wasn't there. The phone started to ring
again.
'Now, just stay there, Tommy, I won't be a minute.' The phone stopped
just as Sam reached it. The baby's bottle had been on the kitchen table
all the time and Sam picked it up and put it into Jessica's mouth.
There was instant quiet.

Tommy had found another worm, so, in the name of peace and quiet, Sam
let him play with it. Crunch, another spadeful of earth was removed
from the hole. 'Good, I'll soon have this done,' Sam thought. The phone
rang again but Sam ignored it. Mixing up the concrete to hold the post
in place was the hardest part of the job. Builder's concreting, gravel
and cement; four parts gravel, to one of cement. Not too much water;
mix it dry; then wet, it was heavy work. Tommy was still playing with
the worm, dipping it into the watering can, which was near full of
water.

Then suddenly, a wasp, attracted by some jam stuck to Tommy's mouth,
stung him. He screamed, knocked the watering can over himself and fell
headlong into the bag of cement. Covered in it, he screamed even
louder, waking Jessica who joined in at the top of her voice. Mrs
Tomlinson came out to see what the row was about. And when she saw her
broken flowerpot and trampled flowers, she started to shout at Sam. But
Sam, who, having had enough, grabbed Tommy under one arm and Jessica
under the other and disappeared into the house, slamming the door shut.
Again, the phone began to ring.

Sam put Tommy down and warned him not to move. The baby, Sam placed on
the living room carpet. At least she couldn't move very far. Sam picked
up the phone and shouted into the mouthpiece, 'Yes?'

The voice on the other end said, 'I've got your nails Sam but I'm stuck
in &;#8230;. Who on earth's making all that row?'

'It's Tommy and Jessica.'

'Whatever's the matter with them?'

'Well, Tommy fell into the cement. Then a wasp stung him and
Jessica&;#8230; well Tommy just woke her up and she's creaming,
that's all. I could cope if I didn't have this fence to see to.'
'And I'm fed up with doing the shopping Samantha; why don't we swap
roles again, I'll go back to the office, and you stay at home, do the
cooking and look after the kids, the way we were when we first got
married?'

Samantha smiled to herself. 'D'you really mean that John?'

'Yes dear, I do,' he replied.