From Jester To King (Finale)
By Simon Barget
I had this dream I was a body, and the body was a vessel with shape, a neat self-contained unit with a skin round the outer, and there was an out and in and everything that was in was you and everything out not, but you could perceive the things that weren’t you, meaning there was data they were there, and ‘there’ meant not ‘here, and ‘here’ meant sort of close or [!], but that which wasn’t you appeared to be separate, and things were either near or far, there was space and distance and it took time to cover distance, a distance implied no infinity of place, and time meant everything drawn to an end, and end was there>, and I was moving to end, and at the start of the dream, my body was smooth but as the dream moved, my body got used, and in this dream, things died, it appeared that the thing no longer moved and if you looked closely the body decayed and fell into sinews and flesh and blood and dust and there was material in the body, the body appeared to be made of something, and this material was exactly that sinew, flesh, blood and dust and that body lost form and the material became refreshed into another and this was called death.
Everything inside was in so that you couldn’t know anything but in, and there was this out that appeared to be separate and all the other forms appeared to be out and I moved around in the space not really knowing the forms only perceiving them as the other and at the beginning of the dream there was sound and I didn’t know sound but when I perceived it I knew it to be [ /], to be like a vibration and at the beginning of the dream I heard sound and I learnt to make sound from my vessel and when the vessel made sound, the exterior forms appeared to react, they came towards or apart and there was this strong sense of [:::] and this was called love in the code for they had a code, as if someone was pulling me on the inside every time they came close. And the people closest to me corresponded to the sound of ‘parents’ and it is said like this: [..], and these other forms were close to me and when they became close there was another sensation, it was like an alert or a signal and it appeared that when the forms came together I experienced this alert and it was related to this love and them coming closer or not but when they came close it felt [..], and when they didn’t, [../].and in the code [.] was known as good [../] was known as bad. And each vessel had a sound and mine was ‘Si-mon’ and the sound corresponding to I was that word. And good was understood to be valuable and bad to be avoided, and the alert from then on when the bodies came close was almost identical with this good or bad, so that from then on everything else in the dream was either of this, that is to say good or bad.
And in the beginning the parents were close and then as the dream proceeded they became less close and more of the finite space became known, known by the alert of visual perception, and the visual perception was an illusion of something in space, it became knowable by me but only knowable when the object was in space, but when it was not in space there was no alert of visual perception and also I had these holes in a part of my vessel and I understood that these were the mechanisms by which I could experience visual perception but I had shutters over these mechanisms and I could shut the shutters and then the object would no longer be seen, and this ‘I’ which I speak about is the thing with by which my separateness was referred to in code, and I was synonymous with the false perception that the space was outside and my vessel was separate, and my vessel had a machine inside which could calculate but it couldn’t make everything, it was limited, and that which can be created in the absolute infinity could not be created by the machine in the vessel so the perception was limited in the entire dream.
And when I moved away from the parents I perceived more in my visual field and it was understood that early process of the dream was a phase where the vessel was young and new, and the people in the dream held themselves to be separate vessels, and the illusion of the separation of each vessel and machine was called the ego and though most of the vessel-machine-conjoinments understood that ego was a false notion and an illusion, they did not know this, for understanding isn’t to know truly to know but not accept and even though they did not know they did really know, for the fact that they too were in a dream although they were also in my dream meant too that they would eventually wake up.
And the egos sought to protect the new egos but once the dream had gone on for […+] which in the code we call a quarter, the parents did not protect, and protect means remain close in the space of the egos, and it was understood that the ego, or ‘I’ came from inside one of their parents for there were two and it was understood that there was another division, and the way in which this distinction was drawn was by considering the sex organs of the vessel-machine-conjoinments, and sex-organs were objects which when placed together in an interlocking manner produced more of the conglomeration of the two aforementioned vessel-machine-conjoinments, and one sex organ was out and the other was in, and this could be done many times to produce what in the code is called offspring. And more and more offspring was produced and this ensured the continuity of the vessels and it was without limit this reproduction, but I understood myself to be one of these offspring and that my parents had both been offspring of offspring themselves and this had gone back to another form, perhaps less complex than that form and there can be observed what is called an evolution where the vessels change not just of their own change but the change underlies all the generations and is produced in a very gradual manner so that its visual was not evident.
And in the dream there were colours which were like [“] and they also made distinctions between objects, delineating them, and there were also parts of the objects themselves also delineated and there was a sky and a force which held the objects down and down means [_] and up in the code is [-] and in all the dream I was down and there was no up or anything else except for very brief moments, and what this up and down is hard to describe but we could say that up was good and down was bad. And my body became larger until just before […+] and then it stopped and one day I happened to touch my sexual organ and this produced a self-referential [^] and in the code this is called sexual pleasure and this increased unto a peak until a tremendous [^]. And from this moment on, I spent my time trying to reproduce the [^] and then I was made to understand that with the sex organ of out to the sex organ of in this would produce also [^] so there was great desire to find the sex organ in and the vessel attached to it and desire was like a propulsion that came from the out and not from my machine, and when an object moved from the out to the in this produced offspring and then I found a sex organ in and I put in my sex organ out into the in and it produced [^] and so I did this many times and then the vessel of the sex organ out produced offspring, and the offspring came from the inside of the sex organ in vessel and then I was to understand that it started in and would come out of the sex organ in itself, and then I understood that I was now the parent of the offspring and the offspring was alike to my vessel and how my form looked, for you could see your own form in some other form, but you did not really know it was your own form but you took it to be so.
And the vessel had to ingest material to continue, and when no material was ingested the vessel felt [*] and this [*] was known in the code as hunger and hunger was the alert to ingest material and material was there but I was not allowed to take it, and what allowed means is that other human vessels came together to establish what is right and what is wrong and right is what the ego wants in reliance on its need for ingestion material and I was told that the human vessels once tried to prevent other human vessels from taking their ingestion material and they could take it with force and what force meant was that large objects produced more force and would overpower larger objects and they could stop the other forms from existing and there was fear, and fear was a feeling that prevented the ending of the existence of the individual form and caused that form to resist the overpowering force, but this fear could be greater than the actual force itself and cause the vessels to agree to give their ingestion material, because the fear caused the fear in an infinite regress and then every vessel feared its ending and therefore tried every bit to keep the form going which was always an illusion. And then some vessels controlled the material and there was exchange not for the object amongst themselves but a third object with symbolic value to be exchanged for the objects where desired. And broadly the acquisition of the symbolic object was synonymous with maintenance of the ego and the I and not allowing [*].
And there was when time past, the flow of knowing, and the flow of knowing could remain in the machine as if the object of the flow which occurs simultaneously and in one unbroken moment was in a different antecedent moment and these were called memories and memories could be had lost and even invented. And then the vessels lived in time and not for the moment and the moment was something to be released out of, always waiting for a better one to come one that could be ever so slightly better than the one in now. And at the beginning of the dream the flow wasn’t strong but as the dream went, the flow got stronger and in the early part of the dream, there just was, there was the objects in view and their data and a slight sense of their separation but as the dream went, I could feel impressions, they were like waves of things that were not really there in space at all, they had no form, and these impressions would fill my machine from day to night until it switched off and the impressions were of the flow that had been or of the flow to be anticipated for there was an end and the flow appeared to go to this end.
And there was dark and light and the dark became light to get dark and in the dark the vessel turned off and rested, that is to say [__]. And the dream was so real, it was like there was really an I which could experience all things without [=] and they have this concept in the code and [=] corresponds to doubt and there is no doubt that it is entirely real because the I is still in the dream, all the I knows is that it is just a dream and when the I wakes up there will be this disbelief that such a long detailed dream was a dream just like any other, and there will be astonishment and perhaps relief or perhaps the I will want the dream back.