The fact
By utsukushi_kiseki
- 116 reads
I hated the fact, that it hurts intensely, everyday, that I wanted you but I can't. That I needed you but you don't need me.
I'm sorry if ever needing your love and attention, and I want it to be just you, is wrong.
And I'm sorry if ever choosing you, made you to not choose me.
And I'm sorry that I'm nothing more but a burden and a trash to you.
I'm sorry my problems make you sick.
I'm sorry that listening to my friends' opinion made you less important.
But just so you know, it is true that I can be great without you, but I've wanted to go my journey with you in it,
It is true that you were there for me when I was down, but you are also the same person who went off when I needed you the most,
It is true that my friends are not always there for me during my bad times, but they were better than my shadows, who left me in the dark. My friends became the most amazing support system. And even so, that doesn't make you any less important either. You are still important as you are and your role in my life. But you hardly see it.
Just so you know, I needed my family, my important friends and you, to make me, the best of me. But you hardly understand it.
And just so you know, if you think that your family is perfect, no other family is ever perfect. Neither mine. Some other family may appear that they are perfect, but there will always be roller coaster ride. But I am very very grateful as it is. My mother and my brothers are more than what I could ever ask for.
No matter how much you have hurt me, I am not tired to choose you all over again. And I mean it. I shall have this feelings until God takes it away again. And if you do care about me, please ask God to take this feelings away, because I am exhausted of missing you everyday, craving for your love and your existence.
And I'm tired of the thoughts wanting to kill myself because of this experience and other life experiences.
If death says hello, I will smile.
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