Alfie Shoyger

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I have 22 stories published in 2 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 1764 times and 15 of my stories have been cherry picked.
4 of my 53 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 4 votes

My stories

Gold cherry

Chicken Caesar

A plump gherkin swims round a jar, as chips crackle. Pasties malinger and saveloys shirk. Gristle and sinew are scraped with a rattle off skewers...
Cherry

F--k Off, Sh--ty Free-Verse Poet

A poem inspired by a poetry reading in North London.

Racist

I can make you feel small, racist. So that you’ll have to crawl, racist. I can make you want, after speaking to me, to bash your head on a wall,...

Limericks

There was an old churchman from Limerick who believed his behaviour was chivalric, for he only would force himself on a horse in the boundaries of...
Gold cherry
Poem of the week

South-Central Walthamstow

The war memorial’s slashed in brash Cyrillic-esque graffiti: “Da Shapka Krew runs tings” and slits your whistle-throat entreaty for peace in a...

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4 of my comments have received 4 Great Feedback votes

1 Vote

I've done it live a few times

Posted on Mon, 21 May 2018

I've done it live a few times, yes. One time was at the Poetry Place at Covent Garden, which is full of dreary, mumbling old gits. One old bird didn't seem to like the poem much, as she wrote a poem in the interval decrying poets who use "over-...

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Posted in Chicken Caesar

1 Vote

Shall oi compare ee to a

Posted on Mon, 12 Jun 2017

Shall oi compare ee to a summer day?

Ye be gert lush, me babber.

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Posted in Biss or Bissn't

1 Vote

I didn't say it was morally

Posted on Thu, 29 Mar 2018

I didn't say it was morally right for the Jews to steal Arab land, I just said that I don't care, because Arabs have enough land already. The Jews are Middle Eastern too, and after everything they've suffered throughout history, they deserve a...

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Posted in End Islamophobia (In the Blairite Party)

1 Vote

go raibh míle maith agat

Posted on Mon, 26 Mar 2018

go raibh míle maith agat

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Posted in My First Love, 1989 – 91