Alfie Shoyger

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I have 68 stories published in 3 collections on the site.
My stories have been read 6829 times and 30 of my stories have been cherry picked.
7 of my 138 comments have been voted Great Feedback with a total of 9 votes

Alfie Shoyger's picture

Terrible, disgusting extremist who doesn't get all of his opinions from the Guardian.

 

 

First poetry collection, available on Amazon:

My stories

Nothing to Offer

I thought that tenderness might be, perhaps, an attractive quality, that women would be pleased to find a man whose heart is well-inclined, who’d...

Some Thoughts on Feminism

Imagine this scenario. Your ancestors have lived in Britain for centuries, most likely for millennia. They were not the landowners or politicians or...

Terrish – A World Language

The Bagvaan’s Inori Ower Baaba, hu is in Shammu, kaddosh is yor vardas, yor vasilio datang, yor zhelanye be fard, on Terra as in Shammu. Datch us...

Climerihewicks

Benjamin O. Zephaniah, past drug-test, beyond breathalyser, imagined a world free from bigotry’s squelch, in which all Negroes spoke Welsh...

Pages

7 of my comments have received 9 Great Feedback votes

2 Votes

I'm touched that you enjoyed

Posted on Mon, 16 Jul 2018

I'm touched that you enjoyed it so much. Thanks for such a nice comment.

The poem is of course based on Friedrich Schiller's "Ode an die Freude" - "Ode to Joy" in English - a poem which I love in spite of the fact that it is now the anthem...

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Posted in Ode an den Dönerkebab / Ode to the Doner Kebab

2 Votes

I've done it live a few times

Posted on Mon, 21 May 2018

I've done it live a few times, yes. One time was at the Poetry Place at Covent Garden, which is full of dreary, mumbling old gits. One old bird didn't seem to like the poem much, as she wrote a poem in the interval decrying poets who use "over-...

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Posted in Chicken Caesar

1 Vote

Thank God for that, I thought

Posted on Thu, 05 Jul 2018

Thank God for that, I thought I was the only one. I hate buttons too. Especially little fiddly ones.

I once lived in a flatshare with a seamstress, and she loved them. A real koumpounophile. She even had a huge plate-sized one on the wall...

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Posted in Koumpounophobia

1 Vote

Thanks, Jose. The form is

Posted on Fri, 30 Mar 2018

Thanks, Jose. The form is called a ghazal, which is a favourite of mine to write in.

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Posted in Maturity

1 Vote

Shall oi compare ee to a

Posted on Mon, 12 Jun 2017

Shall oi compare ee to a summer day?

Ye be gert lush, me babber.

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Posted in Biss or Bissn't

1 Vote

I didn't say it was morally

Posted on Thu, 29 Mar 2018

I didn't say it was morally right for the Jews to steal Arab land, I just said that I don't care, because Arabs have enough land already. The Jews are Middle Eastern too, and after everything they've suffered throughout history, they deserve a...

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Posted in End Islamophobia (In the Blairite Party)

1 Vote

go raibh míle maith agat

Posted on Mon, 26 Mar 2018

go raibh míle maith agat

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Posted in My First Love, 1989 – 91