Underworked

Bloodlessness sets us apart From the rest of the pub No lips to interrupt No hands to form fists Peaceful in our isolation Two ghosts anchored by...

This is part 1 of the second chapter in Tom Booth's struggle to find happiness through tendencies of hedonism and what is expected of him from society. I had written Tom's second chapter however I think due to a break in writing I had progressed too quickly in what is meant to be a slow progression of his ideas and language. I am now writing a bridging chapter that consists of two parts (should these just be chapters in their own right?) so the jump in progression isn't too jarring and we get a bit more context. PLEASE give me constructive criticism as I haven't been in education for over eight years and really need the help; writing is merely a hobby so I really need your help to get better!