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Does it wait for women though&;#063;

ENGLAND 19 ARGENTINA 0 Dear Mum Poor Piers was acutely embarrassed when he saw you outside the ground (he went with the school to watch rugby) selling hot dogs @ two for £10! You had Grandpa frying the onions then you slapped the dogs in the bun shouting "Roll up, roll up for e-coli!" but when the cops came, you had to run With Stephanie in charge of the mustard you were doing a very good trade but I'll have to tell Inland Revenue if you don't share the profits you made A picture in pinny and wellies, Aunt Peggy was selling rosettes and David (a dab hand at busking) did a strange thing with castanets It was OK 'til Dad gave up cooking and decided to sing to the crowd - they dispersed with unseemly jostling! That voice should NOT be allowed! And I hear that you joined in the floorshow by stripping right down to your knickers to show everyone the hole in your vest - I can never again go to Twickers! Where were you lot, during the Falklands? The Argies were put right off their game - they had ketchup all over their faces: with no points, they were sorry they came!

God's gift&;#063;

Spiders are brilliant! The cream of creepy-crawlies. They hang down from your ceiling and cruise over your wallies. But with all those legs about...

A little girl in a hard world.

I watch their sad faces....

As his tiny heart is filled wit

Whimsy of a fourteen year old.

A little bit of autobiographical humour!