Main causes of bullying
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Part one- diatribe against bullying.
Most bullies gloat, and sneer about what they did when they bullied and
wrecked people's lives, and they feel superior to the people they
bullied. Most bullying is caused by snobbery, of seeing people as
dehumanised inferior scum, and then being prepared to abuse them, and
not care, because you see them as emotionless nothings. That is how I
felt bullies saw me at school, and university, and it is normally how
bullies see victims. They often shiver when you walk past them, and
develop bigoted stereotype views of what you are, and decide to
classify anyone who is shy, sad, inadequate, mongish, as creepy scary
people. The thing is after they bully you, they then pretend they're
scared of you, they're not a different word should be used, combining
snobbery, hatred and superiority complex. They are scared of you like
snobs are scared of being seen with tramps. They shiver in horror at
what could happen to their reputation. It is soul breaking, to find out
what bullies see you as, and it's one of the most hurtful aspects of
bullying, that they see you as some diseased, pile of slimy scum they
hate, when all you are is weaker, or shy, or weird, or inadequate. The
worst thing for me at school, was reaching seventeen and finding out I
was still shy and inadequate, and people hated me for being shy and
inadequate. While bullies had developed into seemingly well-adjusted
model citizens when they had spent their childhood abusing me, wrecking
my childhood. All school had taught them was that they had a moral
right to hate people they saw as inferior, and an attempt to drum into
me, that I should be hated for being sad or shy. The bullies views
could be regarded as Nietzscheite. The other thing is, they always say
I didn't have any friends, at school which is rubbish, it's just my
friends were also regarded as dehumanised scum, so they didn't count
them. Even then not having any friends isn't evil. People without
friends are normally just shy people who find it difficult to talk to
people. Most bullies, serial killers, rapists have loads of pals, being
friendless doesn't indicate anything about you're morality. If you hate
people purely for being friendless, without even knowing if they are
good or bad, then you're a horrible bigoted snob. Then in adult life
they decide you're the irritating one for being quiet, and they have
the right to hate you for being quiet, when it's people like them who
bullied you into being quiet.
Then when a victim of bullying like me complains about the horrible
aspects of the damage, and misery and horrible soul breaking pain of
bullying. As an adult the bullies regard you as being unfair, scary and
creepy. The most ridiculous horrible thing is, bullies still hate kids
who were shy and quiet, or weak and expect us to admire them for being
kids who bullied and abused. Bullies go into adult life still bullying,
still seeing people different, or weak, mongish, sad, shy, inadequate
as deserving to be hated. Loads of bullies want to see sad people kill
themselves, which is as evil as murder in my opinion, that is bullying
people to suicide. While they see people who bully as having a
personality.
As bullying is such a depressing, sad subject the victims rarely talk
about how gut wrenchingly painful and traumatic it is, so the bullies
get to hog the argument and pretend they had the tough time, and that
they deserve all the help. I still hate the people who bullied me at
school, and I have every right too. You have no right to expect people
to forgive you, for abusing them, especially when you still bully
people, you still regard it as trivial, and you stand up for other
bullies, pretending that is magnanimous, when it is just selfishly
standing up for yourself and other abusers.
The worst thing is when you tell bullies about how evil bullying is,
they either ignore you, or they pretend to ignore you making sure they
tell you they're ignoring you and don't care to insult you, and make
you feel small. Or they hate, you for being sad and bitter, and hate
you for hating them for abusing you, while expecting you to have
forgiven them, or they laugh at you in a deliberately chilling way,
that they often seem to have practiced. Yet they still think they're
good people, because they had easy lives and don't care about people
they abuse and then have the cheek to pretend standing up for abusers
makes them magnanimous
I just wish bullies would accept bullying was wrong.
The reason I still hate people who bullied me is I know for a fact that
most bullies grow up thinking you had something to be ashamed of, that
you're still inferior to them, that they were just being kids, when
they were in reality paedophilic abusers who still have snobbish
attitudes to life. Bullying is serious it is evil. The most badly
affected, and the most vulnerable, are the children, and adults who get
bullied.
Part two - How bullying should be solved
Don't put forward clich?d arguments to the bullying debate. Don't say
all bullies are from broken working class families, and that therefore,
it is no wonder they want to wreck other people's lives. Don't say
bullies are the most vulnerable children. Don't forget the fact that
the people who suffer depression, suicide, life long mental illness,
inadequacy, and bitterness are the victims of bullying. Don't forget
the fact, that it is soul breaking seeing bullies succeed in adult
life. You should look at bullying in the same way you look at rape.
Your first thought should be with the victim, you should never
instantly think the perpetrator is the broken victim, you should not
think the perpetrator is the one who is suffering greatest, and you
should not put your measures as simply thinking of how we can help the
bully, while not caring about the huge long term mental illness
problems caused to the victim of the abuse. The worst thing is the
number of bullies who think they're being sanctimonious and magnanimous
for tolerating abuse, because they did it as children, and then never
bothering to recognise how serous what they did was.
The recent reaction of some commentators to the exclusion argument, was
deeply hurtful, and showed a clich?d lack of concern, unthinking
attitude. The typical repose was: 1) Firstly start talking about what
would happen to the bully and how we should think of they would be
affected. 2) The clich?d rubbish that all bullies are from working
class broken families and that they're the vulnerable kids 3) Not
saying anything about how bullying genuinely wrecks lives, the deeply
complex ideologies that cause people to bully, the problem of adult
bullies being proud to have bullies and still bully.
The reason these were hurtful were, 1) the way numerous commentators
said we shouldn't exclude bullies, because it wouldn't solve the
problem, and it might harm their GCSE results, was awful. It is on the
same level as saying we shouldn't lock up rapists because it might harm
their job prospects, and it won't remove all rape. Then not paying
attention to the long term devastating damage that causes to the
victims. Bullying is a deeply painful subject. I feel it is suitable
punishment for the bully to be put back a year, and there is no way a
bully's GCSE results should be put above his or her victim's life long
happiness. I am fed up with bullies thinking they're the only people
that count, just because they regard their victims as dehumanised
scum.
2) Not all bullies are from broken working class families. That is not
really an excuse anyway, to say that we should tolerate bullying
because the bully is from a broken working class family and then have
another person's life wrecked, and just saying let the abuse continue.
It is about as liberal as legalising murder.
The main thing is though, that most bullies, who picked on me at
school, were middle class, or at least wealthier than my family, and
were from comfortable families. The people who got bulled, were often
working class, from middle class families. It is bigoted, patronising,
clich?d rubbish to say bullies are all working class. The people who
say that, are people who didn't go to comprehensive schools, probably
bullied people themselves in high school, and think bullying is just
something working class people do, and that when they bullied it was
just banter.
I really felt deeply broken when I was at school getting bullied and
hearing ignorant adults on TV saying all bullies were working class,
from broken families. I couldn't understand why people were saying
that. It seemed to me they were making excuses for bullies by
pretending they were the ones who needed help, when I was the one who
was suffering. It was the same as when adults would say bullies are
people with no self esteem, it didn't seem like that when they bullied
me because they saw me as diseased scum and regarded themselves as too
important to go near me, as it might damage their reputation.
3) The last point is the main basis of this article. Bullying is an
extremely complex issue with a range of defences listing form
pretending was banter, saying it was trivial, telling you to grow up
saying you deserved it for being weak or irritating for being sad, or
weird. There are huge lists of excuses that often are not justifiable.
There are bullies with totally psychopathic perspectives on what school
was like in failing to recognise the intense snobbish soul breaking
reputation basis of playground society where the most popular person is
the sort of person who would be the daddy in prison, and the moist
hated people are the weak, the vulnerable, the shy, the boring, but
above all the vulnerable.
Problems of bullying that don't seem to get addressed properly
1) The list of ideologies to justify bullying
There is a huge lists of ideologies bullies believe in that make them
hate people to bully, or dehumanise their victims. I remember people
bullying me at school in intensely powerful ways and I noticed they
felt no guilt. Then they would do trivial things to their pals and feel
intense guilt. That made me recognise the bullies saw the people they
bullied as dehumanised diseased scum, lesser people, specifically
because they hated groups of people. This was hatred of weak people,
shy people, sad people, quiet people, good people, swots, wasters,
dweebs, mongs, retards disabled people, blacks, Asians, vulnerable
people, wimps, then other bigotries to gays, but above all the main
hated was to weak vulnerable people, the sort of hatred that some snobs
have to disabled people, to facially disfigured people and then blame
that on their victims. A skin crawling snobbery bullies feel to weak
people. Where they beat up weak people and then blame it on their
victim for being a wimp.
2) A lack of taking into account the victim of bullying attitude
A lot of bullies see the people they bullied as scum or inferiors so
therefore regard anything they say as inferior, nonsense. Even when you
say that bullying did hurt me badly they start telling you it was
trivial and didn't matter. They often get angry with you, for telling
them that you didn't like being abused, as they see you as an inferior
and decide their own view is superior. This causes deep problems in
dealing with bullying, as it allows them to put forward clich?d
incorrect arguments that only look at bullying from a bigoted view of
what happened. This leads to hurtful patronising excuses for bullying,
and leads to answers that will never solve the problem of bullying, and
often increase the problem. Because bullies do want to explain
critically what there perspectives were that made them bully. I know it
was not lack of confidence that made bullies bully me, it was because
they saw me as inferior scum. That is most bullying happens.
There are bullies with an evil idea that the bullies were the victims
and the bullied people are just annoying moaners. This is a serious
problem in dealing with bullying.
3) The problem of some people boasting of how they find bad boys and
bullies sexy. This makes it very difficult to regard people who are
biased towards bullies as seriously putting forward sensible solutions
to the problem of bullying. When they talk of bullies as the vulnerable
ones, or that we shouldn't punish them as it might hurt them, you get
the impression what they mean is let them bully as it turns them on, as
they like evil bad boys. When you have people like this it becomes very
difficult to listen to people saying that we should help the bully.
There are people who hate weak vulnerable men as creepy and love
bullies as real men. It is very difficult to listen to people saying a
view which seems pro bully without feeling that these are just very
evil people who want bullies to bully who hate weak people, and are
just using very nasty tricks to let the men they care about get away
with terrible acts, and they couldn't care less about the men and woman
who suffer abuse as a result.
4) People who feel proud to have bullied and pretend it was trivial or
feel intense pride to have abused weaker people. Or even that they have
exactly the same perspective of bullying as adults where they think
your supposed to be ashamed of yourself for being bullied at school and
they are to be admired for being evil bullies.
You can tell from plays, TV and radio programmes written by bullies
that they are proud to have bullied.
It is very difficult to forgive bullies when you see bullies gloating
about what they did, saying they are proud when their victims kill
themselves. Then thinking your supposed to be ashamed of the fact you
were bullied at school. It is the most the terrible incessant gloating
they do, it's like being abused again. It should be made a criminal
offence on a pr with rape and murder. People who feel no remorse about
being bullies should be punished properly as adults.
5) Bullies who pretend they're being magnanimous
Tied in with the above point. Bullies who see themselves as a group to
defend, just like when they're bullying. They hate the people they
bullied. Then come up with psychopathic evil arguments defending what
they do, hate filled towards the people they bullied. They moan in
agony when you talk about how terrible bullying is, and then start
saying they had the tough time at school, and you had the easy
time.
6) Bullies who say kids don't know what they're doing.
When you're over twelve, you know what you know what you're doing. I'm
not arguing for serious punishment, although exclusions is a must, and
if kids can be locked up for robbing, they should be locked up for
bullying. Don't go to bullying with a patronising idea that kids are
brain dead simpleton idiots who don't understand what they are doing.
They should be capable of empathising at that age. At sixteen that is
way too late to say the 16 year old doesn't know what he is doing when
he is bullying. I knew what I was doing, when I was sixteen. I never
bullied anyone. I knew about empathy, stop patronising the problem of
bullying, and stop and tolerating abuse. A lot of people like to
pretend they didn't know what they were doing even when they were
sixteen, and that they just weren't intelligent enough to realise they
were abusing people.
The problem is loads of bullies as adults, think bullying is cute,
because they did it as kids. This even goes to the extent where
football hooligan's wives talk of their husbands as just big kids who
don't know how to behave.
7) We should also sort out the domino affect of bullying, of bullied
people leaving school shy and inadequate and then being hated, and
bullied by the same sort of adult bullies who hate weak and inadequate
people. This problem's main basis should be to stop snobbery and
bullying of shy and inadequate people.
8) Women who fancy bullies.
There is serous problem of women who fancy bullies supporting what
bullies are doing because they are sexually aroused by bad boys they
deliberately skew up the debate, thinking they are magnanimous
forgiving people when in reality all they are doing is supporting and
encouraging more bullying because they are attracted to bullies.
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