Victimising the friendless

Why does being friendless, get regarded by bullies as a reason to
hate someone? As if it indicates evil. In generally it indicates
shyness, a lack of confidence to expect people don't like you and that
is normally due to bullying. After they bully you into lacking
confidence to think everyone hates you. They then decide that is a
reason to say with a deliberate bitter awful hate he doesn't or didn't
have any friends. Like it's a really evil.
The number of friends you have doesn't indicate how nice a person you
are. There are serial killers, rapists, ruthless terrorists with loyal
pals. At the same time there are lonely old good woman and men, shy
school children who die alone friendless, often bullied, when perhaps
they'd spent their adult life caring for a parent so had no time to
socialise. Or were shy, lacked confidence, bullied, suffered some
mental illness making them good, but socially inadequate.
Just look at school, the children with no or few friends are often
harmless good children. At the very least the children seen as cool or
the top dogs are generally the bullies and the ones seen as scum, the
ones like I was, were generally the harmless good children. The bullies
are normally popular. Being the most popular person at school is like
being the daddy in a top security prison for serial killers, or being
voted most popular person at the association of evil bullies and
paedophiles convention. The bullies usually walk around in gangs, and
have many pals, who worship them. There are people who think having no
friends at school's an indication you were a bad person. Which is
nonsense. Because the most psychopathic bullies at school are normally
popular and the bullied people normally hated.
I'm definitely not saying having friends is wrong. Friendship is good,
it's fun, a method of support, good for mental health, but it doesn't
define if you're a good person.
The worst thing about not being popular due to being shy, or not being
able to socialise is there are bullies who think if you don't have
friends then you're basically scum.
Throughout life there is a common idea that the more popular you are
the nicer a person you are, yet this is often not the case.
It starts at school. Popularity's the most important issue at school,
it's all reputations, non-sad, non-weird, non-mongs against the
inferiors, mongs, sados, weirdoes. Those divisions are started and
enforced by bullies. Often if it wasn't for bullies, the bullied
wouldn't be regarded as creepy but bullies force everyone to react in
the same way to them. This is part of a deliberate social isolation
attack, from bullies. This ties in with the basic subject of my column.
On how friendship is not always positive, it can be used as a bullying
weapon to make people feel hated, to justify bullying. This consists of
saying don't go near that person, creating a virtual disease zone
around their victim. People who bullied me wanted to isolate me, they
wanted to crate an air of diseased scum around me, and I felt like that
when they saw me, there whole reaction to me was that of hate filled,
snobbishness. It becomes a sort of morality, in fact bullies end up
being regarded as ok, while some harmless bullied person is seen as
scum. It's a really evil system, enforced by bullies, from an early age
to accept their reputation based social system rather than one based on
morality.
Most people tend to grow out of that ideology, but unfortunately many
bullies go to adult life thinking that is the rule of life.
I rmeber being on bus a few motns ago and a I overahedrs ome bully
talking about me saying I'd had no friends at school, when I had had
friends the problem was my fiorneds wer alslo seen as mneansiless
scummy nothings so were regard as non person and therefore as too the
bullies my only friends were scyum nothings I tyhey astill regard me as
have had no friends.
The problem with friendship is when it's used as a tool to bully. One
of the insults bullies use is calling people friendless, or other terms
to that affect, no mates, everyone hates him or her, or the more
commonly used no one likes him or her. The advantage of saying no one
likes him is it can be twisted. If your definition of liking is you
have to be socialising pals. With a bullied loner you could say no one
likes him, but only in the sense no one's close. Unfortunately it's
other connotations. Bullies calculate saying no one likes you could
mean everyone hates you bitterly. Even though that's unlikely. But you
can't argue back because you know they'll say well whose your friend,
then you believe everyone hate's you.
Often people with friends get criticised by bullies as friendless
because they don't have high status friends. So your friends are
dehumanised. When I think back, I had friends at school, but the
bullies decide even in adulthood, as the friends you had were bullied
their worthless, so basically still regard you as friendless. Bullies
rank people in terms of reputation. The higher you are the more they
see you as a real person. The lower you are they dehumanise you and see
you as someone they should actively abuse. The snag is the reputation
culture in schools. As all my friends were bullied, we were regarded as
unreal. The bullies could do awful things to us, and enjoy it, and then
do trivial stuff to their pals and feel guilt.
There's a naive notion, that saying all that matters is how many
friends you have is a sweet way of judging life. It isn't, it gives
credence to bullies who use social isolation as a weapon of bullying.
It used to break me down, having teachers or children's TV presenters
saying all that matters is how many friends you have, in a tone that
they think they're saying something sweet. It encourages bullies to go
to adult life thinking if someone's sad lonely, bullied, that's
justification for hate.