H - Giant Aspirations

Once upon a time there was a large oak tree in the woods. There had
been a beanstalk there once, but that had been cut down, and over the
years an oak tree had grown there instead.

A farmer and his wife lived near the tree, on a farm, as farmers and
their wives do, and they had a daughter called Christabel. Christabel,
obviously, lived on the farm too. It would have been rather odd if she
didn't, I suppose. And that's all you need to know about the farmer or
the farm, because neither of them come into the story again. Sit still,
James. And Elsie, stop itching there. Yes, there. You know where I
mean.

Anyway, one day Christabel went for a long, long walk in the forest,
and she got lost. Yes, just like you did last week, James. And she came
upon the oak tree, which was taller than anything she'd ever?.

Yes, Simon, I did say that the oak tree was near Christabel's farm. But
that doesn't mean that Christabel had seen it before, does it, or that
she knew how to get from it back home. It's easy to get lost if you
think you know somewhere really, really well. Yes, just like the
supermarket, James. Now do you want this story or do you want to all
get your books out and?.? No? Well, be quiet, then.

So, Christabel sat down by the tree and started to cry. She cried and
she cried. Twice, Victoria. Yes. Twice. But the tree heard her, and was
very sorry for her, and he lifted her up? yes, for the purposes of this
story a tree can? no, I don't think there are any alive trees like
people are alive? lifted her up in his arms and she went to sleep.
Missing her father, Lucy, yes. Missing him a lot. A very lot, as you
say.

Then in the morning Christabel wakes up and she's very frightened,
because it looks a long way down from where she is, and she decides
that she can't go down? no, I don't know why the tree won't help her.
Perhaps he's asleep. Yes, Sylvia, it is a man tree. Not a lady tree. I
don't know how I know. I just do. All right? Now please shut up. All of
you, please shut up. Yes, James, I might have changed the tense. Yes, I
did start off telling it like it was a past story and I've changed it
to a now story. Well, tell your daddy he's wrong. Tell your daddy Miss
Braithwaite says you're too young to be learning about tenses. Tell him
to concentrate on stopping you wetting your pants. Oh, don't cry,
James. James, I'm sorry. No, don't cry?.

*****

Now where were we? Oh, yes. The tree.

What happened next is important. It's this. Christabel climbed up the
tree, not down it, because she was too scared to go down. Which wasn't
very clever, was it? No. Thomas, don't shake your head that much. One
shake will do. But she was a naughty girl sometimes, and a good tree
climber. Well, when she got to the top, what do you think she found?
Billy?

A giant's castle. That's right, Billy. Built amongst the clouds. Just
like in Jack and the Beanstalk, yes. No, it's not going to be just Jack
and the Beanstalk with girls, James. How do I know? Because it's my
story. I made it up. Yes, just for the class, Sophie. And if you want
to hear any more?.

Thank you. That's better.

We said there was a castle, didn't we? And it was a huge castle, bigger
than anything Christine? yes, all right, Christabel? bigger than
anything Christabel had ever seen. Yes, bigger than the tree which was
the previous biggest?.. Yes, it reached up into the clouds? Other
clouds, James. Clouds higher than the clouds it was built on. Yes. It
reached up into the higher clouds, and its battlements disappeared from
view. And amazed as Christabel was, she was even more amazed when she
saw the giant.

The giant was as big as a?. well, as big as? well, he was big. A big
giant. And Christabel was very, very scared. Yes, you'd have been
scared too, Richard. It isn't just a girlie thing. He was big and
fierce and fat and bearded and no, a kick on the kneecap really
wouldn't have done the job. And anyway, he wasn't really threatening
Christabel because he wasn't that kind of giant. No, that doesn't make
him a crap giant, Richard. He'd have fought if he needed to. Other
giants, yes. And dinosaurs, yes. And very big trolls, if they were
nasty, yes, Susie. No, not big bedbugs. Definitely not. What weapons
would he have fought with? I don't know. Shut up shut up shut up shut
up.

Thank you.

James, me shouting doesn't mean you have to cry. James, stop it.
Alright, come and sit next to me. Yes, you can. No, Peter, he's not a
wuss. Where on earth did you learn that word anyway? Well, you
shouldn't watch that again. Tell your mother I say so.

Anyway, Christabel was too scared to climb down the hole and the giant
was way too big to fit down it so Christabel had to make friends with
the giant and he looked after her and shared his food with her and made
furniture for her and built her a little house. Yes, that is a lot of
story, James, but with all the ands you couldn't interrupt me, could
you? And that was a good thing. What was it? Yes, a good thing. Let's
carry on like that.

Did she love him? No, stop giggling, the rest of you. And yes, Karen,
she did. In fact, that's the whole point of the story. She did come to
love him, because they were nearly the same age, and they grew up
together, and he was brave, because he hid her from his parents, who
might have eaten her. But they both knew their love was doomed from the
start.

Why? Well, Katie, they were different sizes and?.

Why would that matter?

Well?.

Well, Katie?.

Well, Katie?.

They couldn't kiss. Yes, Susie, well done. They couldn't kiss. That's
exactly right?. Peter!

Don't you dare use that word in my class. Don't you dare. Who taught
you that word? Well, I think your brother needs?. What class is your
brother in? Right, and what's his name? No, I'm not telling any of you
what Peter said. His name, Peter. Your brother's name.

Thank you. No, Peter. That isn't the point. I don't think about those
things, and neither should you at your age. I don't care. I don't care.
You're not obviously right at all. Shut up, Peter. James, stop crying.
Sarah, stop giggling.

Take a minute, children.

Okay?

Okay?

Are we all settled down now?

Can we carry on?

Right then.

So. One day Christabel was sitting in the tree, where the giant had put
her, watching him work in the fields, and she started to think
about?..

What, Peter? Started to think about what? Would you like to share your
thoughts with the rest of the class, being as they made John laugh so
much? No?.

I didn't think so.

Last warning, Peter.

To think about trying to go home, even though the giant couldn't go
with her. And the more she thought, the more she did want to go home.
But there was one thing she needed to do for the giant? Peter, no!
Don't say it. Don't dare say it again. Don't?.

?.One thing she wanted to do for the giant before she tried to climb
down the tree.

Now all of the time she had been helped by the giant, the giant's
parents had treated him as stupid. And Christabel thought that if she
could in some way let the parents know that he'd been clever enough to
hide her all these years?. Peter!

Peter, what are you drawing? Peter. Bring it here. You haven't lost it,
it's on the floor. Yes, you deliberately dropped it on the floor. Bring
it here now. Now. Pick it up and bring it?.

Thank you.

What is it, Peter? What is it supposed to be?

Don't look at the floor.

Peter, what is it supposed to be?

The giant's what?

The giant's what?

The giant's?? what?

*****

Yes, Mr. Cross. Yes, of course I understand. Boundaries. But all I did
was?.

Inappropriate. Well, I do see how you might think that, but you need to
understand that he drew a picture and said?.

I do indeed realise I'm only here as a substitute, but I am very
committed, Mr. Cross, to my job, and I had real aspirations, Mr. Cross.
I mean, I think I can be a very good teacher indeed and?.

Yes, Mr. Cross. Yes, Mr. Cross. But if you'll just?.

Well, I think that's a little unfair, Mr. Cross. You just don't seem to
want to take into account?.

Yes, I do understand that you have his parents to deal with. But I
could take that off your hands. I could explain to them?.

Oh. Okay.

But I will hear from you, won't I? You will contact me when all this
has?. well, blown over.

Yes, I hope so too. I really do hope so too. So if I just leave my
things here for now then?

Oh.

Oh.

Well, if you think that's best, Mr. Cross.

*****

James, your mother will be here in a minute. Yes she will. So, can you
just wait, because I don't really feel like talking at the moment, and
I'd rather you didn't pull at my skirt. James, please.

No, not tomorrow. Someone will be filling in for me tomorrow.

The story. Well, I can't really right now?.

No, I didn't lock him in the cupboard, James. I didn't. Well, I did put
him there, yes, but I didn't know the door locked from the inside, and
I didn't expect him to?.

Yes, the firemen were very tall, weren't they? Yes, it was all very
exciting. No, I think he was putting the not being able to breathe
properly thing on. He was fine when they got him out, wasn't he? Just
fine.

James, stop pestering. I'm sorry about the story.

No, the new lady won't know it. It's my story.

Oh, God, not more tears?.

Right. Listen.

Just stop it and listen.

Just?.

Yes, just for you.

The end, just for you.

Is this.

Christabel went to the giant's house to see the giant's father. The
giant's father opened the door, couldn't see her on the doorstep, took
a step forward to make sure there was no-one there, and he accidentally
stood on Christabel, breaking every one of her bones and crushing her
skull and killing her instantly and very, very painfully.

I know. But that's life, James. Sorry, but that's life. Plans don't
always work out.

Go and see the nurse. She'll find you a handkerchief.

Yes, that's it. You run.

Goodnight, James.