When the wind winds up
and trees shed leaves...
and gardeners leave sheds...
and a persecution complex begins
for roof-tiles and wheelie-bins.....
Clocks get wound-up not knowing
if they're coming or going.
Each uncertain toc
brings on a nervous tic.....
and with too much time on their hands
They're soon implicated
in daylight robbery.
Only when the Spring unwinds
will they have the chance
to turn over a new leaf.
Comments
Margharita | October 19, 2010 - 12:49
Really enjoyed this, especially the bit about the clocks. Great use of language. This is definitely a print it out and pin it on my noticeboard one!
RachelPatricia | October 19, 2010 - 13:40
Love the second stanza in particular, this is great :)
chooselife | October 19, 2010 - 15:24
This is great.
alice sunderland | October 20, 2010 - 11:43
thankyou all so much. lovely comments that have given me a good feeling today! I dont wanna spend too much time talking about me me me - but can i ask you 3 something please - would the poem work better with just the middle bit - dropping the beginning and end bits? honesty appreciated. xxx
Margharita | October 20, 2010 - 12:25
I think it works best as it is - while the middle bit does stand out, it needs the framing of the first and last stanzas. And there is lovely stuff in both of those too!
chooselife | October 20, 2010 - 13:07
For me the first stanza sets the scene. The last line of the last stanza brings us back to where we started.
Leave it as it is.
RachelPatricia | October 20, 2010 - 20:13
Yup, I agree with all that's been said - it's lovely as it is :)
alice sunderland | October 21, 2010 - 11:25
thankyou all - margharita, chooselife, penandpaperdreams. surprised you all said that! gives me back-up to what i thought - but wasnt sure of. xxx to you all!
RachelPatricia | October 21, 2010 - 12:38
You're very welcome, glad I could help :)
Rachel xx
threeleafshamrock | April 18, 2011 - 23:07
Very clever; love it!
Chris ;)