My shadow

Disappears has one 's; inside it, and you don't need those commas on every line!

J x

i wrote this poem to try and symbolise how our childhood just disapears, all those days fantasizing about great rescuses all leave us with maturity. I used the shadow to represent a child's fantasy's, but also i used a shadow because in the poem the shadow leaves even though in reality it doesn't, so this was supposed to imply that inside we are still all children

But you do need SOME - I wasn't implying you had to remove them all!!!

J x

where would you suggest then? (i do it at the end of everyline to signify the beginning of a new line)

Yes but the line breaks do that for you! Use punctuation where it makes sense, just as in prose-writing!

Note: 'stories', capital 'I' always,

Here:

My shadow,
always next to me,
my life long friend
telling his stories to me, - -ies!
battles with pirate lords
and saves damsels; - tenses!
I wish I could be - capital I
more like my shadow, - my
not just some
whacked-out sado; - hyphen
I would stay up all night - capital I
and some times till day-break, - hyphen
just sitting
and listening
to my shadow,
my hero. - full-stop here
But now he's gone;
he walked out the door;
he's not behind me
anymore.

Does that help?

J x

Yes, much better!

J x