Eye

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You on the up escalator, me
on the down – have we met?,
do I know you? -

did you
sell me something once? did we, in some previous
reinvention, meet?; or,

was that glance, that
scythe, an abstraction, just
forgotten as soon as happen?

what is this?; an incising?; some incision
in my heart?
Are you the moon veiled,

veiled by waifs and strays;
are you the sea with the shadow on the sea-floor
of the boat, fishing in the night, that floats,

as if air-suspended, beside the cinque terre,
near Shelley’s drowning, near
his burning on the beach,

where his body opened and
showed his heart,
the sudden silence of his heart.

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Comments

LawOfTheOne | April 8, 2008 - 00:49

I really liked this. The use of questions and the sparceness of it was very effective. not sure about "an incising". I found it a little jarring. Maybe another word could better describe the cutting/ tearing of the heart. Other than that though I did like it, especially the ending.

animan | April 8, 2008 - 11:52

Many thanks for your comments, Law of the One. I was sorry you didn't like 'incising' - but, on reflection, I think you are right but I'm struggling to think of another word - please let me know if you think of one that might work better. Maybe I should just 'excise' that bit. Not sure.

LawOfTheOne | April 8, 2008 - 16:34

Maybe dissection, piercing or laceration? Just an idea. Keep up the good work. :)