Skimming's good - don't
look down - just skim.
There's grizzly things down there -
eel-y things, slippery gazooles
with eyes all a-bate.
But sometimes there's
no wave to latch onto,
nothing convincing in its
weight, nothing of ... of self-belief,
and you can feel toes
clenching in
right out down there in the deep
below, wondering if that brush
was just the normal water,
or some tendril,
some malignance,
some fate ...
skim
Published by animan on June 8, 2008 - 22:03
Comments
LawOfTheOne | June 9, 2008 - 03:20
I liked this, the last 3 or 4 lines especially; they gave the poem a deep, serious vibe, which worked for me.
jennifer | June 9, 2008 - 08:02
Gloriously metaphorical, made me shudder!
mori saltson | June 10, 2008 - 14:50
Something quite childlike about this - in the sentiment, not the writing. A gorgeous use of words; slippery gazooles
with eyes all a-bate.
Not sure about the ... in the middle but that's a personal thing. A creeping poem, lovely.
sunshine | June 10, 2008 - 22:08
Superb, I especially like the way the poem just drifts away.......at the end............
animan | June 11, 2008 - 08:56
Thank you for your lovely comments, everyone. It's funny because for the first time ever I just thought at the time: let's write a poem, and so opened the box, typed in the poem, stuck in a title, and a teaser and hit submit. I must have been having a lucky moment despite the subject of the poem itself. Risky though - I'm not sure I'll dare to do that again - and if so, certainly not admit it. Oh, I did go back to it after an hour or two and change 'eal-y' to 'eel-y', out of abject fear of the language police!
jennifer | June 11, 2008 - 12:51
Ve are alvays vatching...
and hoping zat you write more of zis poetry stuff...