Manifesto
By heywood100
Fri, 12 Nov 2004
- 672 reads
We are not The Darkness. We are not the Brit Awards.
We are not the MOBO's. We are not the Ivor Novello awards for
outstanding achievement in songwriting. We are not The Times. We are
not The Guardian. We are not The Daily fucking Mail. We are not the new
album from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. We are not Eastenders. We are not
a vine of ambition slowly strangling everyone around us. We are not
Thursday. We are not Monday. We are not a replica Birmingham City shirt
signed by Robbie Savage. We are not Lostprophets. We are not your new
girlfriend. We are not Christians. We are not Muslims. We are not
Buddhists. We are not Taoists. We are not The Project For A New
American Century. We are not the story of Winona Ryder's life condensed
into three immensely accessible and thoroughly enjoyable volumes. We
are not ashamed to admit that we like Junior Senior. We are not a
walking advert for Estonian repatriation. We are not Julian
Casablanca's left eyelid. We are not a belief system. We are not a
fashionable style of government. We are not the younger brother of
Kiera Knightly. We are not going out looking like that young lady and
if your friends all jumped under a bus would you too? We are not Cat
Deeley. We are not MF's from hell. We are not an excuse for Union
Jacks. We are not the legacy of a misspent youth. We are not the
Marilyn Monroe of the alternative rock world. We are not a mulatto, an
albino. We are not the guy on the front of the Pringles tub. We are not
unfortunately, but thank you very much for asking. We are not the
missing cog in the machine that is Les Dennis' life. We are not likely
to win the Victoria Cross anytime soon. We are not The Stereophonics,
which is good. We are not in love with that girl who walks past us on
the street every now and then. We are not the life and soul of the
party. We are not a rejection of existing social conventions. We are
not a rejection. We are not the writers of La Cucaracha. We are not
involved in the prostitution racket operating out of next door's
garage. We are not an Eisensteinian montage of images designed to
propagate a decisive military solution to the problems in the
north-west region of the Cayman Islands. We are not The Hives, and
anyone who says otherwise gets a punch in the throat. We are not
disease dried on from bed to bed. We are not a brave move. We are not
as good looking as you. We are not the sequel to the film Raising
Arizona. We are not death to all who look upon us. We are not averse to
glockenspiel solo's. We are not a book-to-film adaptation. We are not
drunk. We are not married, but all offers will have to come through our
solicitors. We are not cheap paint. We are not one of the founding
members of Sonic Youth. We are not a collection of characters from the
popular children's literature franchise Harry Potter. We are not
wearing any underwear. We are not gay, why does everyone keep asking
that? We are not dangerous. We are not that band with the big hair. We
are not yo mama. We are not a song by Lush. We are not going to leave
this room until you tell us what the matter is. We are not here, you
have to find us. We are reserving the right to contradict
ourselves.
We are not the MOBO's. We are not the Ivor Novello awards for
outstanding achievement in songwriting. We are not The Times. We are
not The Guardian. We are not The Daily fucking Mail. We are not the new
album from the Red Hot Chili Peppers. We are not Eastenders. We are not
a vine of ambition slowly strangling everyone around us. We are not
Thursday. We are not Monday. We are not a replica Birmingham City shirt
signed by Robbie Savage. We are not Lostprophets. We are not your new
girlfriend. We are not Christians. We are not Muslims. We are not
Buddhists. We are not Taoists. We are not The Project For A New
American Century. We are not the story of Winona Ryder's life condensed
into three immensely accessible and thoroughly enjoyable volumes. We
are not ashamed to admit that we like Junior Senior. We are not a
walking advert for Estonian repatriation. We are not Julian
Casablanca's left eyelid. We are not a belief system. We are not a
fashionable style of government. We are not the younger brother of
Kiera Knightly. We are not going out looking like that young lady and
if your friends all jumped under a bus would you too? We are not Cat
Deeley. We are not MF's from hell. We are not an excuse for Union
Jacks. We are not the legacy of a misspent youth. We are not the
Marilyn Monroe of the alternative rock world. We are not a mulatto, an
albino. We are not the guy on the front of the Pringles tub. We are not
unfortunately, but thank you very much for asking. We are not the
missing cog in the machine that is Les Dennis' life. We are not likely
to win the Victoria Cross anytime soon. We are not The Stereophonics,
which is good. We are not in love with that girl who walks past us on
the street every now and then. We are not the life and soul of the
party. We are not a rejection of existing social conventions. We are
not a rejection. We are not the writers of La Cucaracha. We are not
involved in the prostitution racket operating out of next door's
garage. We are not an Eisensteinian montage of images designed to
propagate a decisive military solution to the problems in the
north-west region of the Cayman Islands. We are not The Hives, and
anyone who says otherwise gets a punch in the throat. We are not
disease dried on from bed to bed. We are not a brave move. We are not
as good looking as you. We are not the sequel to the film Raising
Arizona. We are not death to all who look upon us. We are not averse to
glockenspiel solo's. We are not a book-to-film adaptation. We are not
drunk. We are not married, but all offers will have to come through our
solicitors. We are not cheap paint. We are not one of the founding
members of Sonic Youth. We are not a collection of characters from the
popular children's literature franchise Harry Potter. We are not
wearing any underwear. We are not gay, why does everyone keep asking
that? We are not dangerous. We are not that band with the big hair. We
are not yo mama. We are not a song by Lush. We are not going to leave
this room until you tell us what the matter is. We are not here, you
have to find us. We are reserving the right to contradict
ourselves.
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