Q) The Flit

Davis &; Showring &; Co., Land &; Estate Agents,
6 Main Street, KIRKBY KENDAL

1st August 2003

RE:TRANSPORTATION OF TUPHOLME COTTAGE

Dear Mr and Mrs Grigson,

This is to inform you that following the
visit of Mr Clowes to Tupholme Cottage
recently it has been found that the house is standing on
marshy ground and in grave danger of sinking into
the sub-soil.

It has therefore been decided to move the house 3 miles along the road
to a new position in Kirkby Lonsdale approximately opposite the Parish
Incinerator.

This does not affect your tenancy of the property and we
hope you will continue to live there for many years to
come.

This move also gives Davis and Showring the
opportunity to put into action a plan we have long had in mind.

We have decided to make the house a museum
where tourists can enter and watch the day to day
lives of a typical British family as you eat, clean, watch the telly,
etc. Three parties of Japanese tourists have already booked.

You will, of course, be able to keep any entrance fees
derived from this enterprise.

Because of the urgency of the move a giant low-loader and three John
Brown Earth Diggers will be arriving at
Tupholme Cottage tomorrow to carry out the removal.

You may stay at home during the journey, but we
advise that any pets should be farmed out with
friends for the day to avoid upsetting them.

We are sorry for the necessarily short notice of
this little upset in your lives but
you will understand our concerns for your
safety and that of Tupholme Cottage, a Grade Two Listed Building.

Yours very truly

pp. A. Prilfoule

(Rentals Manager)