INQUIZZITION

inQUIZition

Forget 'Who wants To Be A Millionaire?'
Watch 'You Want Your Red Hot Poker Sticking Where?'
Your genial host, Torquemada Tarrant,
Oozing with charm and lacking in talent,
Presents contestants with an arrest warrant
Inviting them to plead guilty to various charges
The more they deny the more their body enlarges
As they are stretched out on the rack,
(Commercial break now, but we'll be right back)
Fifty-fifty takes away innocence and freedom
Or arms and legs (You don't really need them)
You aim to win death so you can go pushing up daisies
But Tarrant tortures you with his incessant catch-phrases
You've won the Iron Maiden, but I don't want to give you that.
I'd rather leave you in a cold dark room with a half-starved
rat.
Sadly it looks like this week's show is coming to an end
And our contestant still hasn't grassed up a friend
So its back in his chains and back on the wall
Wondering if the next pendulum swing will end it all
So until next week's show does commence,
We're leaving him and our viewers in suspense.

Arthur Chappell