MARINER'S ARMS

THE MARINER'S ARMS

The Mariner's Arms, A Cautionary Tale
Starting when the brewery put her up for sale.
The regulars cried as all their traditions died
When the brewery made changes to bring in new trade
Leaving so many people feeling deeply betrayed.
Out went sea-shanties and legends of mermaids.
In came a juke-box and inexperienced barmaids.
Out went the landlord, like flotsam and jetsam.
In came theme nights like Country &; Western.
Out went an excellent choice of real ales
In came overpriced silly names for cocktails.
The Yuppified businessmen cruelly taunted
Claims that The Mariner's Arms was haunted
By a sailor's wife, who took her own life
On learning that he was lost at sea
In circumstances that history
Logs as something of a mystery.
There were protests and even a petition
But the brewers replied with only derision
Describing the changes as economic decision.
The opening night was one of celebration,
Dancing and drinking and much jubilation,
But there was a girl at the back with tears in her eyes
And not one of the rich pissheads seemed to recognise
Her strange resemblance to the lady in the portrait
Until for them, it was already far too late .
They murdered Karaoke all night long
Until the pale siren sang her sad song,
Her very own special and mournful request
Turning Mariner's Arms to Marie Celeste.

Arthur Chappell