Innocence

Really enjoyed this Beeme, the middle part especially, but the whole thing is intriguing with a satisfying darkness.

Thank you so very much Shoe, more than glad you enjoyed. :)

Beeme xx

It's certainly powerful stuff - very effective and a pleasingly spare style. I think some of the full stops could be removed as they seem to be in the midst of sentences, but it's a minor point. Also, did you know that if you put before a bit of text and afterwards in your writing window then it turns the viewable text into italics? It's quite good for quotes at the beginning of pieces.

Rob

That ending is chilling, Beeme - but I love it! Well done :) And Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Magic xxx

Bother - my advice was too successful and italicised itself. It's < then em then > before, then < then / then em then > afterwards (ignoring the 'thens' if that makes any sense at all...)

Thankyou Rob, I always seem to place full stops in random places lol I'm glad you enjoyed. :) Thanks for the advise about the italics, I attempted it and it worked but turned the whole poem into italic :/

Beeme xx

Thank you very much Magic, glad you enjoyed! :) Merry Christmas and a happy new year! x

Beeme xx

You need to put the < then / then em then > bit at the end of the bit you want in italics
Rob

I did lol, I don't know why it effected the whole poem..

Really fantastic poem, but the punctuation ruins it because it doesn't make sense. You need to punctuate poetry as if it were prose - it follows the same rules.

Try:

When I was a
pink-fleshed baby,
I was speechless,
unable to hurt you.
My words were
light, bright-
unattached to life;
alone, they could
do no harm.

Only as poems
addressed to you
do they cause injury,
as you try to read
hidden meanings between
the lines, although
there are none.
Everything I write
in black and white
is printed proof in
front of your eyes.
Undeniable.

If there was any place
which you could forget
the broken pulsations
of your heart, and discard
the sorrow from your eyes
whilst you read,
you'd shrink into that
aimless embryo of a man,
lie once again in the
womb of your mother,
and forget that I ever
existed.

J x

Thanks you very much Jennifer!! I'm glad you liked the poem, my punctuations practically guess work ;)

Beeme xx

In that case, may I recommend a book to help you?

'Eats, shoots and leaves' by Lynne Truss:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Eats-Shoots-Leaves-Lynne-Truss/dp/0007329067/ref...

J x

yes I need all the help I can get, thank you! I'll put it on my Christmas list ;)

Beeme xx