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Irony

Posted by Beeme on October 23, 2009 - 21:00

I was about to get down to some serious writing,
however the air itself distracted me with its
thick oppression grasp settling into the room.
The thread of your last power over me, attached
like a moth drawn to the light in everything that I did.
The flame rising inside of me, stretching to reach its
own comfort and warmth, burning the peach shell
that slumps, cross-stitch over my heart. Skin I think
they call it, sticking like glue to my unsatisfied bones,
a shield of some description. I reached for the phone,
the half moon inviting itself in through my window
my luminous fingers posed on top of numbers,
tapping to our rhythm. As I try to remember the numbers
zero, nine, seven, four.. I count backwards, release my
grip slightly. Her loud echoing voice crawls into my ear
and orders me to leave my message, the words escape
quicker than I had imagined and my heart breaks into more
pieces than there are numbers. Nobody there to pick up the pieces,
and the rotten mess that was my heart looks uglier than anything
I have ever seen. Hardly the rose that I believed could blossom.

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Comments

Richard L. Prov... | October 24, 2009 - 01:24

This work is very good, Beeme. Well done. Richard & Esther Pro...

Beeme | October 24, 2009 - 07:53

Thankyou Richard and Esther. Glad you enoyed.

Beeme xx

MistakenMagic | October 24, 2009 - 10:21

'burning the peach shell
that slumps, cross-stitch over my heart. Skin I think
they call it, sticking like glue to my unsatisfied bones,
a shield of some description.'

- love these lines Beeme and their gritty yet enthralling images. Well done on this one!

Magic xxx

Beeme | October 24, 2009 - 11:49

Thankyou Magic, I really appreciate the feedback :)
Beeme xx

Cavalcaderl | October 24, 2009 - 16:38

New Beeme
love all of it verse;
The thread of your last power over me
attached like a moth drawn to the light!
in everything I did.
last line hardly the rose that I believed
could blossom. great seems so true.
Hope your well
julie x cavalcader (:-

Beeme | October 24, 2009 - 17:24

Thankyou Julie, glad you enjoyed :)
Im good thankyou. Hope you are well x

Beeme xx

Cavalcaderl | October 24, 2009 - 18:14

Beeme
Nope he's got virus
going round and me tail end
soup and Dumplings on way.
x factor better sleep both.
have a nice week end
julie x

Nathan Bednarek | October 24, 2009 - 18:58

‘Skin I think
they call it, sticking like glue to my unsatisfied bones,
a shield of some description.’

The lines I quoted and in fact the whole piece really show how good a writer you are, Beeme. Definitely one of your best pieces so far. It is honest, unique and captivating. I can’t help, but ‘feel’ the speaker of this poem. A very big well done to you! ;-D

Nathan xox

Beeme | October 24, 2009 - 21:13

Wow thank you so much Nathan! I'm so glad you enjoyed this so much. Your comments are always greatly appreciated and this comment of yours painted a massive smile over my face :-D

Beeme xx

Larkin Williamson | October 26, 2009 - 21:08

This is the stuff writers reach for....wonderful work....thank you.

Beeme | October 26, 2009 - 22:14

Your kind words means so much, thankyou.

Beeme xx