Nocturnal ignorance

You must have been in a dark place when you wrote this Beeme.

'stripping…
each photograph
to their bones.
No colour’s remain,
to mimic a memory'

The images I got from those lines were immense.

X
Pinda

Thank you Pinda, glad you found this emotive xx

Hi there, Beeme. Basically, this is very good. Just a few suggestions below:-

"...each photograph to their bones", might be better, "each photograph to its bones". Makes a nice internal rhyme with 'mimic' a line below.

Also, the word 'buried' would be way more effective on the line by itself.

And in that last line, maybe change 'in a blacked room' to 'in a blackened room'.

And, last but not least, colour's is not a possessive, but a plural...in this case anyway, so doesn't need an apostrophe.

As pinda says, the imagery here is powerful, and you very successfully suck the reader in to a very dark place indeed.

Tina xx

Thank you so much Tina for taking the same to read and comment so thoughtfully :) I'm really happy this was so effective and the imagery worked well :)

Beeme xx

This is great now, Beeme;-) Tina xx

Thank you so much Tina! :)

Beeme xx

It's edgy and disturbing but very effective I think. A lot contained in a few words. Very good.

Rob

Thank you so much Rob, happy you enjoyed.

Beeme xx

Love the images of the walls and photographs! Truly haunting - well done on the cherry!

Magic xxx

Thank you so much Magic, really happy you enjoyed.

Beeme xx

Super Beeme xx

Thanks very much SundaysChild means alot :) xx