Another innocent man is
turning in an early grave.
You're playing tennis with
racism branding one insult
acceptable, just a laugh.
What can the earth see?
The heaven of starry skies above
or the broken land around her.
Cracks resurfacing.
It's all the same just different.
A new age, better paid.
Not much respect, find a better
resting place.
Comments
Silver Spun Sand | March 23, 2010 - 12:21
An interesting one, this, Beeme. I wonder where it will lead;-)
Tina xx
rjnewlyn | March 25, 2010 - 01:03
Seems finished enough to me - if that's what you meant by 'unfinished'. It's not for everyone but this is actually the poetry I like best - images that stick in your mind and yet slip out of your grasp when you try to pin them down. Like trying to make sense of a dream. Like most of TS Eliot (to me). I enjoyed this very much - even more than the space-fishing of part 1 (if they're supposed to be parts 1 and 2).
MistakenMagic | March 25, 2010 - 10:27
I agree with Rob - this seems very finished, Beeme! I especially love the assonance of that final stanza which is the perfect finish ;)
Magic xxx
Beeme | March 25, 2010 - 16:29
Thankyou Tina, I'm glad you enjoyed and so do I :-)
Beeme xx
Beeme | March 25, 2010 - 16:36
Yes this is part 2 of 'Unfinished' Rob, I'm glad you enjoyed and thankyou for leaving such a thoughtful comment. I'm pleased you like the images, they are meant to be somewhat surreal :-)
Beeme xx
Beeme | March 25, 2010 - 16:38
Thankyou Magic I'm glad this seems finished to you and Rob ;-) I'm especially pleased you like the final stanza as I wasn't sure it worked.
Beeme xx
Nolan | March 26, 2010 - 05:26
Interesting
Beeme | March 26, 2010 - 10:26
Thanks Nolan =]
Beeme xx
Nolan | March 26, 2010 - 18:21
What's this =] ? Can't make it out take off my glasses get right up close to the screen it's all dots and blurry. I'll have to get better resolution. Well I'm sure it's not an insult. Not so familiar with modern English!
(Could you explain also lol ? And :] what’s that? Is there a dictionary? I’m pushing fifty.)
Nolan &&
Beeme | March 26, 2010 - 19:06
Its a smiley face Nolan as is :]. lol is a slang word meaning to laugh out loud! Hope that helps.
Beeme xx
Tom Brown | March 26, 2010 - 22:07
Lots of love!
Cavalcaderl | March 27, 2010 - 13:21
new Beeme
Yes I agree same as other's really good
images,and stanzas,and true of life.
Laugh out loud great.Image mark.
Just done one on Oh! Wheelie Bin (True)
from pavemnet. gone missing.
Comments I have asked and any happenings
to other's. they are coming in.You could
Beeme make one up go on!and post on here.
julie xx
Beeme | March 27, 2010 - 20:20
Thank you Juile, I'm glad you enjoyed :-)
Nathan Bednarek | March 29, 2010 - 15:27
Short, yet powerful. I would suggest expanding this piece more as it has true potential.
Good one!
Nathan xox
Beeme | March 29, 2010 - 16:25
Thankyou Nathan!
Beeme xx