Answered Prayers
By bobbiego
- 843 reads
Answered Prayers
Guilt, like a leaking pen,
runs through my veins.
It can not be erased.
I prayed for him to die,
and he did.
How dare he take away
my nightly conversations
with God? What can I ask for now,
juices to returned to my
wasted vagina?
My back couldn't stand the motion of love,
too many years of lifting, changing and
being a damn heroine.
I hate martyrs and yet became one,
not from choice, but of necessity.
If I could have seen
one sign of recognition in the
last 3 years I could have cart wheeled
across the thread bare carpet.
Instead, pacing became my exercise.
Self loathing is not a desirable trait.
Dying might be better;
I know it was for him.
Me, I must spend equal time
on my knees praying for forgiveness
for the wanting of relief.
Bobbie Kilzer Gogain
9/17/05
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