Have you ever?
The moods are always set by the entrance of a new light.
A change in the air, the next song on the radio.
An extra breath when you least expect it.
She hides her true feelings, but lures you with her other.
Wild nights, alone by the sea, waves crashing on the rocks, a mind too complex for this life it drains the energy of even the strongest battery. There is madness in us all, there is a girl next door to us all.
I touched her, or did I? I touched her again.
I read a poetry book which laid by her pillow,
my words sat inlaid on a torn piece of paper, we laughed as we watched the sun go down.
Smile for me, when I walk past your door.
Comments
The Chosen One | February 8, 2008 - 16:08
I was 18 she was 17..
We were 'in love'.
Sooz006 | February 9, 2008 - 15:06
There's nothing as sweet or as bitter as first love. Great poem.
tcook | February 13, 2008 - 13:07
I like this but find the odd phrase in it to be jarring.
'a mind too complex for this life' - it's very teenage angsty (maybe it's meant to be?), but it doesn't sit well - and waves crashing on rocks is just too cliched to be allowed in here. Work at it - it's got the beginnings of a really good poem.
The Chosen One | March 8, 2008 - 20:55
thank you for the comment, I always appreciate peoples words or thoughts, I just write when I have feelings and I have never structured anything i've written so maybe it comes across underprepared or badly written. But to me it get's off my chest what I have needed to.
Thank you .. take care.
I like your writings also I had a read the other day.
jennifer | June 18, 2008 - 21:59
Love this idea:
'An extra breath when you least expect it.'
Yes, I know what you mean! So true...