At the beginning
By dot.med
- 293 reads
At the beginning
Let me welcome you to a small corner of South London. The sharp whine
of a circular saw is dissecting the atmosphere and jarring the senses
and yet I still find the courage to put finger to keyboard and to share
some of my writings, musings and perhaps even inspirations about my
struggle to both find and follow a spiritual path.
Six months ago I embraced meditation. Not for the first time, but for
the first time in a regular and consistent manner. The change was
initiated by my partner of many years who suddenly and without warning
turned his life around and confronted many of the demons that had
dominated his life since childhood. In order to do that he turned to
meditation and as a result the two of us take time each morning to
create a receptive and quiet space that has increasingly become more
and more fruitful.
Describing what comes in to fill that quiet space is more difficult.
May I ask that (having read this paragraph) you close your eyes and
imagine an opal - a translucent pool of colour in which flecks of other
colours are suspended. The primary colour may be milky, a vibrant
green, sea blue, or a deep red. But each time you look another colour
catches your eye, a ruby red, a sapphire blue, an emerald green and it
is that colour that momentarily lights up the opal. Shift the angle and
the ruby becomes emerald or the sapphire becomes ruby, but however the
colours may shift the essence of the opal remains constant, vibrant and
enchanting. Each morning my meditation is like a taking swim through
opalescent water, refreshing, invigorating and at times
challenging.
So the scene is set - the relative quiet of a south London street just
after dawn. A pot of green tea and a museli bar, that has become
breakfast, just within reach. By the side of the sofa the dog flops
into her early morning sleep and across the room my partner pours out
his british rail tea. A lit candle lights the space between us and on
our laps are two notebooks to jot down any inspirations - so no
pressure there then!.
As our three aums echo across the room the dog stirs and I open to the
story that I find reflected in the colours that surround me....
"Where to begin? The lessons of life are all in the living are they
not? The movement through life, parenthood and work creates furrows of
learning. Learning to live with another, a partner, a child, an animal
creates a mirror in which you are reflected and magnified. You can see
your impact on others and feel their impact on yourself and it is
within that interaction that you grow.
In your working pattern you create more of a mirror of yourself
reflecting your ways, your values and your creativity. It is a set of
mirrors shining outwards attracting the attention of others, sometimes
their envy and sometimes their disapproval.
An animal is a mirror reflecting back what they have given up and what
they are willing to trade to live with humans. Some trade their nature,
some compromise less but choose to act out of reverence to their
owners.
What then of your spiritual path is that to a series of mirrors
reflecting out and reflecting in?
In this case the mirror that you hold up reflects back the whole of
your life, your trials and tribulations, your successes and failures,
your achievements and compromises. It is all illuminated by the light
of spirit and that is the light of compassion and wisdom.
As you create a mirror section by section and polish it's edges you
begin to see yourself within a lighted pool and to appreciate the value
of that light to others.
Each meditation, each healing, each visit to your Teachers adds
brilliance to your mirror. Even a silent meditation has an impact as
the essence of your soul needs no sound. It is the echo of the aum, the
sound of creation."
As I put down my pencil and read out my words what resonates most is a
sense of being linked to creation, to the beginning of time. The impact
of that is to make me feel momentarily very important, as if history is
contained within the cells of my body - a double helix stretching back
to creation.
But fast on its heels comes a sense of personal responsibility. It is
not possible to see myself as part of a continuum without feeling a
thread of responsibility for the past and the future. There may be a
grand scheme and I may be but one tiny part, but feels important not to
waste the moment. It is easy for me to let myself off the hook by
feeling powerless in the face of the enormity of the destruction being
wrought by mankind.
However, if I relate to the image of the mirrors pointing inwards and
outwards and magnifying the values and beliefs that are expressed
day-to-day then suddenly small actions grow in importance. Thank
goodness for the compassion and wisdom in the light of spirituality
though - because an honest appraisal would not make easy reading. I
assume that the brighter the light the darker the shadows that will be
cast, and the more hidden corners that will be illuminated.
At least I have started the journey? but it appears to start from the
inside out.
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