The joys of American motels

The car park's full,
there's no diner for a mile,
the maid needed tipping.
We only got one room.

The door lock's jammed,
there's a dent in the door,
the peephole's misted over.
We're together at last.

The pool's closed for drainage,
there's no signal for the TV,
the coke machine on empty.
We make our own entertainment.

The towels haven't been cleaned,
there's mildew round the sink,
the soap's growing fur.
We're oblivious to the world.

The sheets make you itch,
there's no room to stretch out,
the bed sags in the middle.
We're kissing like crazy.

The wake-up call came early,
there's a tear in the curtains,
the sheet's ended up on the floor.
I lie with him, in paradise.