In the back lot
Behind an old grease factory
A hulking metal shell
Is trying its hardest to return
To the earth from where it once came
Rust flowers on its doors
Have blossomed and climbed
Up its pillars and onto the roof
Blooming brilliant red and orange in the sun
Sills have fallen through
Leaving rusted holes to be filled
By the flowers of weeds
Prettier than any money could buy
Rainbows of refracted light
Resting on the faded, torn seats
Cast by the in-fun smashed windscreen
Caused by those who still know what its like
To be young
Comments
jennifer | June 20, 2008 - 08:48
I am wondering how metaphorical this is...
ambiguity
I love that word...
Are you referring to yourself, Dy, or am I over-reading?
The imagery is powerful in the extreme, and I particularly loved the layout.
Nathan Bednarek | June 20, 2008 - 23:00
I agree with Jennifer. This poem is wonderful. In terms of its effectiveness it is probably one of the best poems I've read on this web so far. Really goo. I particularly love the lines
'Rainbows of refracted light
Resting on the faded, torn seats'
They say so much in such a unique way. Well done, a wonderfully crafted poem.
Dynamaso | June 21, 2008 - 03:28
Jen, I wrote this some time ago. I remember seeing a car in this state and being completely taken by its beauty, even though it was falling to bits.
But the ambiguity is delicious, I think. I'm pleased you enjoyed this.
Nathan, thanks very much for your comments. I am humbled you think so highly of it, given the quality of poets writing on this site.
sunshine | June 21, 2008 - 12:56
superb, deserving of the accolades and cherries. That pause at the end is soooo effective. Margot
Doeslittle | June 21, 2008 - 19:23
It is an excellent poem. I, like Margot, particularly liked the last stanza and ending. I wondered about the frequent repetition of 'flowers' and if in the third stanza it might read better if it was simply, 'Prettier than any money could buy'.
Dynamaso | June 21, 2008 - 23:36
Margot, thanks very much. I wasn't sure about the pause but it has proved popular.
Doeslittle, you know, I think you are right. I'm going to take the second 'flower' out. It does seem almost superfluous. Thanks for this and for commenting.