Rambutan - IP Response


from the ABC set Poetry & Song Lyrics

Under the shade,
I learnt my first song,
chords that would ring
out for years to come.
It touched something
I didn’t know I had;
so close to my heart,
I thought it was love.

And like ripe fruit falling
into eager hands,
all those beautiful sounds
were there for the taking.

It was a magical time
in a faraway land
where the itch to learn
was vigorously scratched;
where every day was
a summer unmatched
in a tropical paradise
so unlike the one I knew.

Rambutan trees don’t grow
in this temperate zone;
it is such a shame
I'd forgotten the name
yet could still sing the songs
I learnt so long ago.
Such a crying, damned shame
I had to learn them alone.

But hear the songs now,
these are in the trees;
all you have to do
is open your heart and listen.

Discuss this piece in the abctales forum


Comments

skinner_jennifer | May 19, 2011 - 09:28

This is so beautifully written, I felt I was almost
there.

Jenny.

SteveM | May 19, 2011 - 09:38

Excellent one Mark. Particularly like:
It was a magical time
in a faraway land
where the itch to learn
was vigorously scratched;

Steve

Highhat | May 19, 2011 - 14:40

A lovely ode to the fruit of your choice. Good one for the IP

;)

shoe | May 19, 2011 - 17:42

Lovely lyrical feel and cadences, I especially like;

'It touched something
I didn’t know I had;
so close to my heart,
I thought it was love.'

Dynamaso | May 19, 2011 - 23:50

Jenny, thank you for your kind words of support.

Dynamaso | May 19, 2011 - 23:52

Steve, thanks to you for your support. I'm pleased you liked this one, mate.

Dynamaso | May 20, 2011 - 00:00

Highhat, thanks so much. I recommend the fruit - it is delicious.

Dynamaso | May 20, 2011 - 00:00

Shoe, thanks for your kind words. Much appreciated...

insertponceyfre... | May 22, 2011 - 16:30

I really like this one dynamaso - and a lovely interpretation of the IP

MistakenMagic | May 22, 2011 - 19:13

Simply stunning. You paint a wonderful, beautiful picture. Well done on the cherry!

Magic xxx

Dynamaso | May 23, 2011 - 00:04

Insert, thanks very much - pleased you enjoyed this one.

Dynamaso | May 23, 2011 - 00:05

Magic, really appreciate you saying such nice things. Thanks very much.

Dynamaso | May 23, 2011 - 00:15

Thanks to the Eds for the cherry - much appreciated!

Silver Spun Sand | May 23, 2011 - 10:56

I completely missed this one, Mark. It is so very beautiful;-) Well done on the more than deserved cherry.

Tina