It became clear,
as the moment drew near,
you were never going
to accept your fate.
You argued and debated;
you should have waited,
patient and alert,
but now its too late.
Now its too late, baby,
just like the song,
to fix your errors,
to right your wrongs.
And just like the song,
you’ll never make it.
You can try all you want
but our time is gone.
Comments
NaziWifebeater | May 6, 2009 - 08:26
G'day, Mr D!
You've used an interesting linking rhyme scheme here, with the first two and the last two stanzas interwoven. Maybe you could have an interlinking rhyme between the second and third stanzas as well?
I also think you could tell us more about what this situation is. You don't have to say outright, "This poem is about this", but some kind of clue could be interesting.
Regards,
NW
SundaysChild | May 6, 2009 - 17:33
I like this a lot. And I like having to make my own interpretation. Good stuff.
Silver Spun Sand | May 6, 2009 - 17:38
Ditto. Nice work.
Tina
Dynamaso | May 7, 2009 - 00:06
NW, first of all, you have an interesting name. Does it mean you only beat up Nazi wives? Surely, if this is the case, most of them would be old women now. And I think you have to understand, some girls always fall for the bastards of the world.
Anyway, thanks very much for your comments. I will take on board the thought of linking the 2nd and 3rd. As for more clues, I will leave that up to your imagination.
Dynamaso | May 7, 2009 - 00:07
SundaysChild, thanks for the feedback. Glad you enjoyed this.
Tina, thanks to you too.