I Saw God Once.

I saw God once. His face, contorted in cruel fatherly love, overwhelmed my soul and sent me crashing into something they later told me was the beginning of understanding. The beginning of repentance.

The crash, they assured me, was how we all came to be; common experience both beneficial to and educational for, the soul. We are flowers and we need water, is how they explained it to me telepathically on that cold Tuesday night when my father and mother were screaming fury and hate at each other. 'Where is mine?', I wondered. My water, my manna, the love felt once before deep in the void.

They tell me things still, the voices. Sooth me, assuage guilt of bright and fiery embers that will never go out. Instructions followed, I fall down a familiar rabbit-hole and watch the movie play out once more.

Glowing faces at windows, screams in the air, a lit match. Smells all too familiar, too real, attach themselves to my memory. And in that second I know I'm going to crash yet again.