Vincent

I looked into the future and I lost the present
Ghosts appeared and I stepped amongst them
I loved too much, too hard, too long, too strong
It would never be enough: neither metric nor imperial
And slowly but surely I began to lose
First the battle, then the war, then him
I misplaced my keys, my mobile, my purse, myself
Momentarily at first and then I just couldn’t
Find my way home: no bread crumbs or lost property
No signposts or guided tours, no-one awaiting my return
And slowly but surely I misplaced others
First the face, then the heart, then the soul
I drugged the voices within and closed my ears
I weighed my heart when it got too heavy
I split it and offered it to him: half a heart
To make him whole again and share his pain
It would never be enough: neither metric nor imperial
I cooked, I baked, I cleaned, I fretted via phone and text
I learnt to play poker and watch American Office
We chased kittens and guinea pigs and happiness
I wrote cards and tried to understand his grief
Too much in metric and imperial
And slowly but surely I began to lose
First my dreams, then my hope, then him
Lost to each other for ever
Hostages to our pasts and ghosts to our future.