"Someone keeps looking at me."
"Really?"
"Mm, man over there, a few tables back."
"Oh well, I hope he likes what he sees then."
"He's doing it again now."
"Well you must be gawping back if you can tell he is."
"I am not! I just can't help noticing."
"OK, so do you like what you see then?"
"He's all right I suppose, the only thing I notice is him looking."
"Funny that."
"Look are you trying to tell me I'm imagining it? Turn round - over there -"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because it's rude to stare. Drink up"
- -
"Hmm. Charming."
"Now what?"
"He's just got up and gone."
"What did you expect?"
"Well I don't know really but after all that looking, it makes me feel a bit..."
"You react too much."
"It's how I am though, I -"
"Let's go."
Comments
Ewan | December 23, 2009 - 12:14
This is good dialogue, with overlaps and interruptions, no confusion over who is saying what and it is, as you say, a fragment. I confess to being intrigued.
Why not build a story out of it? Go back, go forward: have someone overhear this conversation and change their life? Anything is possible in this most personal of all possible worlds.
regards
Ewan
EmilyBell | December 23, 2009 - 13:10
Hello - thanks for that :) I wrote it a couple of months ago while I was studying a course in English grammar which included a lot of spoken examples. I wanted to try to use what I'd learned there, but in a clear enough way that the reader didn't have to struggle too much - true transcripts can be a nightmare to make sense of! I did toy with the idea of expanding it but I'd rather move on. I have one more fragment to post here, then I'll write something new...