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Duet

Posted by Ewan on March 18, 2008 - 20:23
from the ABC set The Long and the Short of It...

You’re funny (I’ve got money)
in a serious way (and I like to pay)
but I won’t laugh (at least my half)
at your jokes, (like all blokes)
in case you’re (to make sure)
thinking that (you think I’m)
I fancy you (respectful to)
as if - I mean- (your lacquered sheen)
that's masochism. (of feminism.)

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Comments

Doeslittle | March 18, 2008 - 20:58

I like it. Very good. Only bit I didn't get was 'it's not ageism' right at the end, but that could just be me...

Ewan | March 18, 2008 - 21:11

I think it is a little awkward too... how do you imagine the two people?

Doeslittle | March 18, 2008 - 21:52

Tentative, unsure, first date perhaps. Maybe masochism is a darker and more fitting word than ageism???! 'as if - I mean (your lacquered sheen)
this is masochism (of feminism.)'
I'm starting to think it's not the done thing on here to make overt suggestions though so consider it retracted if I've over commented!

Ewan | March 19, 2008 - 07:08

No, I welcome suggestions... not sure about scansion of it though (like I ever get it right :-))

'that's masochism' ???

thanks for taking the time

Ewan