Howard

Clean. All my life, I've wanted to be clean. There's always dirt. Always.

I bet you think you're clean. You're not. You've touched money, since your last shower, haven't you?
No-one is clean; we make the dirt, too. Dust: it's dead skin cells. Dust to dust – pretty much sums it up, hmm?

I shave. Smooth skin is cleaner – especially in the folds: the dirty places. You'll know I've lost it if you see me with a beard, and long fingernails. Damn' that black crescent. Women look at fingers first, they sure do. Jane did, and Ava.

Good hotels, the kind where they service the rooms twice a day: that helps, even in Acapulco.

People ask me about the Banana Nut ice cream: yeah well, I found a hair, a goddamn' hair - right there on top of the tub. Free Baskin Robbins at the Desert Inn. Gambling money's the dirtiest.

I bet it's clean at the Poles. You can see it is: Rock Hudson never looked so clean as in Ice Station Zebra. It wasn't 150 times: that was a lie, I fired the guy that spread it. I watched that film 137 times and that's a prime number.

Anyway, take care. No, I won't shake hands, thanks.