A Person of Interest


from the ABC set Driving Over Tinfoil (prose)

The bottle slid from Dick's hand; tight grip loosened by shock. The Venta's doors were still swinging like a saloon's in a bad western. Below his shaven-head, the newcomer's suit was as incongruous as chaps and a leather vest. Why did they call it a vest? It's a fucking waistcoat, Dick thought. When the bottle smashed, Andres gave a tut of disapproval, but did not leave off smearing the brass bar top.

'I look for Kenning,' the bald man's letter-box mouth hardly moved in the saying of it.

Dick looked around the bar; two builders slaking a thirst earned chasing the mirage of work around the campo, the alcoholic mad-woman sorting through her spoils from the wheelie-bins out front and two English holidaymakers fooled by the "twenty-minutes to Fuengirola" spiel on their holiday villa's web-site.

'Who wants him?' Dick asked.

'Is business.'

The late afternoon sun shone through the grimy windows and glinted off the man's pate. Late thirties, Dick reckoned; golf-ball cheekbones stretching the skin on the otherwise flat face. Slav: Russian, Ukranian, Georgian, maybe even a Serb. The Slav took a step forward, Dick held up a hand;

'Whose?'

'You know him?' The jaw jutted out, giving planes to the face it didn't need, or suit.

'Might.' Dick waved at Andres, pointed at the stranger. Two bottles appeared on the brass.

Andres hid in the kitchen. The builders looked over, looked at each other, then at the three full bottles in front of them and shrugged. The mad woman sang, half-shouting;

'Green honky cruisin' in the Pygmy Twilite'.

The English holidaymakers left; perhaps they were Zappa fans and didn't like liberties being taken with his lyrics.

'Zdrovye!' A meaty paw clasped the San Miguel and clinked it, hard, against Dick's bottle.

'Cheers!' Dick showed his teeth.

'Kenning?'

'Son of a bitch, ne'er-do-well, writer of wrongs...'

'You be funny, friend?' The Slav showed his own teeth. He must have paid for them, at least. The yellow metal shone.

Dick held up the bottle;

'Drinker of beer?'

The Slav reversed his hold on his bottle and swung it at Dick's temple. The glass shattered, joining the shards already on the floor. Dick joined the debris, the Slav's footwear struck him efficiently around the ribcage. He threw a business card on Dick's heaving chest;

'Ower of money.'

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Comments

whiskey | July 18, 2009 - 11:58

A tight piece with great characterisation and sense of place. Love it. :-)
The only thing I tripped on was an extraneous word - 'didn't' in '...didn't were Zappa fans'.

Ewan | July 18, 2009 - 11:59

Thanks for spotting that, that's what I get for trying to do two things at once!

lenchenelf | July 18, 2009 - 12:02

Enjoyed..a lot :-) edited comment as you've noticed typo
atb Lena

threeleafshamrock | July 18, 2009 - 12:28

Now, that's how to write a short, tight, interesting and complete piece. Enjoyed a lot; class!

Chris ;)

chuck | July 18, 2009 - 12:56

Good minimalist dialogue too.

threeleafshamrock | July 18, 2009 - 13:02

That too chuck; took the words right out of sentence..;)

Ewan | July 18, 2009 - 13:02

Moffat is chained up in the attic, where he belongs! :-)

sarah wilson | July 18, 2009 - 13:10

It's all been said:)

chuck | July 18, 2009 - 13:29

Pity. Moffat would cut a dashing figure in Speedos. And I bet Miss Pardoner in a bikini would turn some heads.

insertponceyfre... | July 18, 2009 - 14:17

yes I liked the dialogue too. I hope you are giving moffat gruel or something while he is up there?

Ewan | July 18, 2009 - 15:22

Opium, Quail and Port.

insertponceyfre... | July 18, 2009 - 16:25

Oh - generous! Sounds like fun then

threeleafshamrock | July 18, 2009 - 20:11

Mmmmm, quail - well, as the bride said to her hubby on their wedding night; 'do you mind if I come too?'