I long to be on your mind

I long to be on your mind
Like those celebrity heartthrobs that grind
Their way through your thoughts
All tough and action
And I’m sure that I could offer satisfaction
Like those guys

Oh let me be in that space behind your eyes
That land of diet coke breaks
Of late night trysts
With Herculean romantic types
Where true love does exist
I know you get pissed off
When I talk politics
And you think my diet is way too alcoholic
Which results in my six pack
Being poorly defined
But you’d be surprised
If I was on your mind

I promise I wouldn’t
Drive you round the bend
If you were to see me
As more than just a friend
So why not banish those thoughts of Gary Barlow
And Keifer Sutherland.
It’s fair to say that my aspirations
Are somewhat hazy
And I’ve not quite got the moves
Of Patrick Swayzee
But I would never dream
Of putting baby
In the corner
I make a mean cup of tea
And my embrace is much warmer.

I’d do a careful job
Of running through your head
So chuck out Piers Brosnan
And choose me instead
I could be
Your Johnny Depp
A dashing pirate
With nimble step
And a wolfish grin
You won’t forget
If you cut and paste
My head on his biceps
Or replace those thoughts
Of Michael J Fox
Back in the eighties
With his boyish locks
And go for the guy
Sat next to you in his socks
The one who doesn’t care
That you’re getting white hair
And who doesn’t want to sappy
But all the week’s crap
Would be a lot less crappy
If you noticed that he was there

I guess until you do
On Friday night
We’ll watch another rom-com
Where it all works out alright
And you can snuggle up next to me
Whilst I give my solemn guarantee
That I won’t remind
How much more contented you’d be
Once the film has ended
If I was on your mind