Montgomery, Montgomery

Montgomery, Montgomery
The greatest cad in history
A weasel sly and Slippery
In expensive cotton frippery
His smile so slick and buttery
Makes the ladies tummies fluttery
Drinks wine throughout tomfoolery
Without staining the upholstery

Montgomery, Montgomery
Invades your late night revelry
Smoking jacket concealing devilry
He’ll eye his targets levelly
Before oozing out his flattery
Like a leaky zincfilled battery
More feline than a cattery
More mystery than Mcavity

For Montgomery Montgomery
Lives untouched by our economy
Oiled up and in his finery
He’s a master of Adultery
The nemesis of monogamy
He loiters round the registry
Eyeing the young brides lustily
Before dancing with them…horizontally

Montgomery Montgomery
Even pulls when in the nunnery
Bounds to the nuns with energy
Compliments them on their rosary
Walks several through the cemetery
With his pretence of old school chivalry
But when Away from their Mother superiority
He seeks comfort from them...plurally

Montgomery, Montgomery
The greatest cad in history
There’s no other man more masterly
He spends whole weeks with Bunbury
As bohemian as Pete Doherty
Cancel dinner, hide the crockery
The next day he’ll never call you properly
Once his fingers have got inside your frockery

Montgomery, Montgomery
The greatest cad in history
Forget revenge that’s tough and brotherly
He can sniff out all planned thuggery
Ducks out the window, calm, invisibly
Of wits he owns the monopoly
There’ no greater cad in history
Montgomery, Montgomery