Sharp neon borders
And septic smiles
Are everywhere
In the Hotel bar.
It's 10pm; I got in late
And now techno music fists, fists, fists
Punishment into my ears
Thumping like a wet dog,
I approach the bar.
I’m wearing a grubby brown vest.
A frowning face with a shiny badge
Makes it clear that this is a mistake.
Asks me to make my way to an unlit booth
While the glitterball laughs around the room.
Well, let it.
I've been checked in here a while.
I'm probably the only one
Aware of the loose wiring
In the hallway,
And so, I grow amused
From my cave seeing
Plastic jackets and chain shirts
Flirting their affairs
Across ice cube chairs
Sluggish lips and free nuts
That swim unwashed
From table to table.
I watch women of all ages
Clinging desperate to the same dress
And grow oddly warm
In a tatty old vest.

Comments
threeleafshamrock | August 9, 2009 - 18:46
Good stuff, demands to be read at a fast pace and works well, brought back some embarrassing memories ;)
sunshine | August 17, 2009 - 20:09
A touch of pathos; not sure about 'chlorine smoke' but there's some great phrasing in the rest. Margot
sunshine | August 17, 2009 - 20:10
.
gristo | August 20, 2009 - 13:02
Thanks for the feedback Margot. i agree - it didn't seem to work that line. Might be better now. I'm contemplatring getting rid of it entirely actually.
thanks for the feedback!