The Greatest Inventor Of This Age
Palmtree Doodlebug is probably best known these days for the invention of the all-weather knee hat; a device that has proved invaluable for those places where shorts are worn on a regular basis, to prevent the knees getting either damp in the rain, or excessively sunburnt in the heat of a hot dry day.
Although it was the knee hat that made him famous, and wealthy beyond even the dreams of Bill Gates, Doodlebug has produced many more inventions that have made our lives immeasurably better in recent years. One only has to mention, for example, the solar powered fallow deer impersonator that has done so much to bring about the current revival of the retail shopping experience on the High Street, along with the high-speed motorised V8 pogo-stick that has done so much to increase the throughput of our otherwise-moribund hospital casualty departments, and done so much to increase the alertness level of pilots of low flying aircraft.
Then there is the gas-powered inflatable companion-lady intimate doll, ‘filled with pure hydrogen for that floating on the clouds feeling’ that has done so much to rid the world of the traditional post-coital cigarette and provided many opportunities for the fire brigades of several countries to practice their craft as well as increasing the expertise of numerous hospital specialist burns units.
Lately, though, there has been little in the way of new inventions from the Doodlebug Laboratories. However, well-founded rumour has it that Doodlebug himself is hard at work perfecting a revolutionary new design for the milk or fruit juice carton, where – informed speculation has it – he is working on a design that will – unlike all current designs on the market - result in much less than half the contents of the carton ending up soaking into the trouser leg of whoever tries to open it.
With the civilised world crying out for such a concept to be brought to successful fruition we can all only wish Palmtree Doodlebug the best of luck with what may be his most daunting challenge yet.