Is Pole-Vaulting Considered A Sexual Perversion?

In the usual course of affairs pole-vaulting is not often considered to be one of the great, or noble, perverted arts. I would agree that in most cases this is an argument not without some foundation.

However, I would also maintain that a strong case could be made for its utility in certain situations, in particular, the large-scale outdoor orgy, especially when the putative next partner named on your orgy card is some way off across the other side of the orgy field. Moreover, though, I would maintain that such a strategy is best not adopted for most indoor orgies, unless particular notice is taken of the height of the roof. A particular mistake that our Little Frigging Village Policeman - PC Ghonnemadd will not be making again, after his spectacular mishap during the New Year’s Eve orgy of 1997 in the Little Frigging village hall.

A shattering collision between one’s neither regions and a fluorescent lighting shade at the apex of one’s vault is bound to – and the evidence on PC Ghonnemadd’s person did prove this – at least put a dent in one’s ardour. After the accident, it took a few moments for our good lady doctor, Minnie Strayshuns to be extracted from her Ladies’ Excuse Me with Strom Thighhammer, Village Nurse Pam Purring and Maureen Trouser-Quandary. But, once on the scene and after a cursory examination of the injury, Dr Strayshuns announced that the denting - although seeming initially severe - would right itself in a few days. It did, however rule PC Ghonnemadd out of the next three matches in the Inter-Village Orgy league.